Oh No! Ive Been Bamboozled!

they should rewrite the bible so that jesus would be a hot 5'2 girl with a creampie fetish from missouri

in the middle of crying for no reason i was interrupted by the sounds of one of my neighbors blasting "shadow the hedgehog pissed on my fucking wife" so loud it echoed around the courtyard outside

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

repeat after me: people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it. people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it.

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

sorry I can't respond to your text bc I need to die a thousand deaths for some reason

i always see “tag fav fruit” posts but i’ve never seen a fav veg post so rb & tag your favourite vegetable

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

you are weak of mind and horny of spirit

and metal of body

HOLY SHIT PJACK??????

HE WAS BACK FOR THREE HOURS, RESPONDED TO MY POST, AND THEN DIED AGAIN????

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

I think we should send the billionaires to space and then abandon them there.