how dare the item of clothing i developed a weird attachment to and have worn almost every single day since i bought it start to show signs of wear

fuckkkk i should draw and color a picture but all i have is this baseball bat that i hit myself in the head with over and over and over and over and over and over and over

listening to the same album over and over is good for your health btw

Man, all the other dialogueless-indie-platformer-where-you-walk-from-left-to-right-as-things-get-increasingly-fucked-up protagonists get cool intros. All busting out of glass tubes and falling from the sky into huge piles of corpses and such. I just wandered on screen looking vaguely lost.

masquerade (noun) - a lemonade made out of masks

(my first page had a lot of spiders, so that's probably something some people may want to be aware could happen)

aborted bloke: i would’ve loved to do fuck all

The goalies cradle the ball because they believe it to be an egg and are trying to keep the other players from breaking it. Unfortunately they have also been led to believe that the egg's True Mother is one of the players and feels obligated to return the egg. Needless to say the winning team will get to hatch the Great Serpent.

Bro wants to be a fop but he's barely dapper

Bro called himself bohemian with zero joie de vivre

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom