Unfortunately still procrastinating

my mom taught me the therapeutic power of cleaning. open all the windows. throw out the old. wipe down the entire house. burn some incense. roast some coffee. then rest. that way the tears from last night don’t feel as heavy. 

the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”

benjamin and jerrold’s

So my new English professor is my uncle only he has no idea because he hasn’t talked to my mom in about 20 years so do you think is should tell him

You know what nevermind he’s a dick I’m going to talk to my mom to get dirt on him so I can blackmail him if the need arises

You should write a story about a boy for an assignment and include loads of life details about him that your mum tells you so that it’s obviously him but change all the names then hand it in and be really confused if he questions you about it

Oh my god

You kiddos have no idea how groundbreaking this was. Like there’s a reason THE lesbian website for a billion years was called After Ellen. She changed everything.

Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being excellent.

meredith, how do i open a new tab

Thank you for posting this.  I was arguing with a relative who had taken the “I don’t think you should NOT make cakes for gays, but why not just go to a vendor that will happily sell to you” stance and I couldn’t quite explain why this was still a bad idea.  This sums it up perfectly and correctly. 

in this house we do grandma activities

sewing, eating hard candies, going to sleep at 8 pm, we’ve got it all!

i know im op but this is so valid

last night at the club my friends introduced me to these guys and the guys were like “we’re 22″ and I was like cool and then a minute later they were like “we’re kidding we’re 18″ and I was like 18!!!!! 18!!!!!!!! you’re as young as my youngest siblings now I have to PROTECT you and the one guy was like 6 ft+ and he was like “no you have that wrong, I need to protect you girls” and I was like “okay yeah physically but I have to protect you emotionally” and he was like “oh okay yeah”

like 30 mins later he came back up to me like “I just realized it’s the same age difference between you and me as me and my baby sister and you’re right. you’re so right.”

Why be the dancing queen when you can be the killer queen, gunpowder gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind

Can I be both because this bitch really loves ABBA and Queen

bite the vampire first to establish dominance

@amphyn