Fire-Breathing Bitch-Queen

"do it scared" ok but I would like to do something some other way occasionally. Like at least once. For a change.

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

How To Tell Your Cat That You Could Walk To His Food Faster If He Weren't Weaving Under Your Fucking Feet In A Beautiful And Intricate Idiot's Ballet

I feel so bad for people who think cats don't love you. cats are such incredibly loving creatures and u have never felt the joy of being loved by a cat

Please enjoy Kaz being a cute bookworm cat

listen hobbit pussy could be mediocre (doubtful) but even if it was it's still followed by a 17 course homecooked meal and the kind of weed that would make sauron scared. lithe beautiful immortal elven pussy has no power compared to the simple, hardworking hobbit. and it goes without saying that you cannot handle dwarven pussy.

Every time I see some deep cut Tolkien post on Tumblr I think back to how Stephen Colbert basically admitted to having an account and said we'd never find him. And depending on the nature and quality of the post I am looking at, I will hope that that is Mr. Colbert. Anyway this is a 12/10

does anyone have a torrent link for the memories of all humans past present and future i can't seem to find it myself