Welcome to tonight's main event

people who write on their phones (word mobile, gdocs app, scrivener mobile, notesapp, etc) how does it feel to be taunting god every single day

don't apologize, this is gold

people who use the queue function fill a necessary role in the tumblr ecosystem. they keep posts alive. if u miss a post bc ur entire mutualcule was reblogging it from each other in a 30min span and u were offline, the queue mutual provides u an opportunity to see that post again in 1-8 business days. they put posts in stasis in little cryogenic freezers for u to discover and enjoy later. everyone thank their queue mutuals right now

i do think it’s interesting that in less than a decade after reviving both the jurassic park movies and star wars franchises, universal and disney, respectively, have fucked up what could have been never-ending theatrical cash cows to the point where the jurassic franchise is ending in critical disgrace and star wars has been relegated almost exclusively to disney’s streaming platform. how badly do you have to fumble bags that are mostly just “people and aliens in a far off galaxy and space” and “dinosaurs! what would happen if dinosaurs?” that the franchises became so devoid of any redeemable value that people are eh about seeing a cultural icon like darth vader wield his lightsaber or a website like rotten tomatoes, which grades on a heavy curve, especially for nostalgic projects, has your film at a 37% critical favorability and is being accused of making dinosaurs “uncool”. it’s fascinating. i hope the bubble bursts for marvel next.

the fact that so many industries are propped up by actual broken transactions lmao. hollywood can only turn a profit by abusing special effects people. restaurants were undercharging for food BEFORE the pandemic. pink collar workers and truck drivers grind themselves into the dirt so you get your coffee on time. capitalism has never worked, it survives on wage theft and killing people, every single pipeline begins with someone having a gun pointed at them asking if they want to live and everyone up the chain is like i guess everything’s running smoothly :) !

no but this is the most ****able they have ever looked and you are the wrongest person ever if u disagree

more thoughts on why i'm going hard on the There Is An Album train: the theme of this tour is decay and desecration, all the visuals being related to abandoned buildings and rot and green mold and moss, but there's been no hint of this being a finale. it's certainly the end of an era, that era being the hiatus, but they haven't said shit about this being a final tour. if the decay theme was meant to signal the end of the band 1. that would not make sense given the end of the band was 8 years ago and 2. it would be punctuated by constant goodbyes and lyrics about leaving. the lyrics of foundations confirm this; the decay theme is about growing from desecration, not dying from it. instead of a goodbye what we got was get up, coward.

it makes no sense to get back together after a decade-long hiatus without any marketing about this being the final tour and then disband without any warning. not only is that not logical, it’s also pretty cruel and the band would know that. they’re planning shit.

Being a former emo and a psychology professional is wild cuz you realize MCR literally conditioned us for life with that G note. We're all just Pavlov's dogs with flippy hair

i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd

this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said  “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”

the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice. 

To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.

Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,

my mom is helping me job hunt and when i told her my dream job is to sit in one place and sort stuff by color all day she made a really disgusted face and said “you want to work on a fucking assembly line?” like yeah

My boyfriend has to go to the ren fair for work but i can come and he wanted to do a matching costume. He was like “I want to be Frodo” and I was like “oh cool I can be Shelob” which was, apparently, not the couples costume he was thinking of

I was like “babe she has the most screen time of any woman in Return of the King” and my boyfriend was like “that cannot be true,” looked it up, and said “i can’t believe that’s true”

very cool of mcr to hand out free top surgery at their concerts by getting up on stage and blowing everyone's tits clean off

All my sisters wanting tits stood up in the back row and caught em in a net like a pop fly at a ball game

no offense and i know i will sound insane but i literally believe like in my actual real human heart that if MCR played drowning lessons live this tour something significant would shift in our cultural landscape. like there would be actual ramifications. sorry. it’s just what I believe………..