I'll think of a better title eventually

If it’s noodles, pour them on your sister instead of on her computer, or if the noodles are quite hot, pour them on her pillow or in a great spattering arc around her room.

If you have a supervillain at gunpoint and *they* say you’re “too good” and “won’t do it,” shoot them in the leg/foot or the shoulder. The former allows them to think they’re right while you lower the gun only to be confronted with sudden understanding and regret when you blow their metatarsals to kingdom come, while the latter is instant and avoids giving them even a moment’s satisfaction or any time to charge you while you’re lowering the gun to shoot them in the leg.

1. Always follow through. If you make a threat, then don’t do it, whoever you’re threatening will literally never listen to you again. You won’t get what you want, and you’ll lose pretty much every ounce of respect. Not only that, but you’ll also telegraph to anyone around you that you can be walked over.

2. Never start at the top. If you’re threatening someone, always have a point to escalate to, in case you need to follow through a second time to get what you want. You can only kill someone once, and if you threaten to do so and then don’t, you’re breaking rule 1. You want to start at a level that matches your desires, and then step up each further threat until you either get it, or they’re dead. Usually you only have to threaten someone twice, because they’ll know from the first time that you’ll do it.

Yes. Always. Good lord. I never understand why people can turn this into a big serious discussion. Yes, One Punch Man would beat Thanos. He would beat Luke Skywalker, Superman, every single character from Dragon Ball Z, and every ninja from Naruto. He would beat Thor and Wolverine and the Hulk in a tag team match. 

Because he plays by different rules. One Punch Man is a PARODY character. His skill set is defined by comedy, not power levels or physical strength. One Punch Man not Superman facing off against an ever-more powerful lineup of villains. He’s the Roadrunner against Wil E. Coyote’s ever more convoluted plans. Deadpool is the only other super hero type character who comes close to living in the same realm of parody, but frankly, Deadpool repeatedly getting the crap beat out of him would be funnier than Deadpool winning, so One Punch Man would win that fight too, even if he can’t actually kill Deadpool in one punch. Because parody.

1) it’s conceivable that, due to the rules the other character is operating on (as in, whatever rules of comedy govern the other character’s universe), he might not be able to get in one punch.

AND

2) A compelling argument could be made as to whether it would be funnier for Saitama to lose that fight.

Canon example where both came into play: he lost the fight against that one mosquito, because it was tiny, fast, and flying, and because it was hilarious. Rule #1 alone isn’t enough, because if it isn’t funny for him to lose, he’ll find a way to punch through whatever restrictions are preventing him from punching the target.

So “could One Punch Man beat Superman/Thanos/Unicron/the Death Star?” will always go to OPM.

Remember when Roger slides out of his handcuff for a joke, then slides it back on and suddenly can’t escape because it wouldn’t be funny?

That sort of implies that it’s less a question of, “is saitama MORE POWERFUL than roger rabbit?” than it is, “Could saitama’s victory be FUNNIER than roger’s?”

At that point, the power is in the hands of whichever character would be the FUNNIEST to come out on top.

And in order to decide that, we would in turn have to decide:

“Which is funnier: a totally jacked man whose single dream in life is to find an opponent who could stand a chance against him finally, finally finding a worthy adversary in a goofy rabbit in a bowtie…

POG

Mihoyo definitely has a thing for dog boy. Razor, Cyno, and now Gorou.