Why

Hannibal + banned Tumblr tags

He’s not a broody snippy git whose appeal is assumed apriori and who in real life would drive away absolutely everyone he met (e.g. any sad manboy ever trotted out as a lead by Moffat).

He’s not an “aspirational” over-muscled hulk.

He’s not a fighter for ‘truth’ or ‘justice’ for whom bodies are just collateral on his path to heroic self-actualization

This Hannibal is the Head Bitch In Charge.

He is independent to the n-th degree. He lives to please himself and no one else. He is fabulous. He shamelessly geeks out over obscure and refined pastimes and shares them with friends. He is the Queen Bee of his social circle. He takes any excuse to treat himself, but he also has perfect self-discipline: gym is not optional. His time-management skills are superhuman. He can decorate and keep a house like Martha Stewart, hold down several jobs, and practice multiple hobbies daily.

(And what are his hobbies, aside from slaughter? Cooking, foreign languages, drawing, playing musical instruments and composing. And clearly clothes shopping. He is probably on first-name basis with the best tailors and cordwainers in town. Contrast with Will, whose hobbies are stereotypically masculine: fixing motor boats, fishing, playing outside with his dogs.)

Hannibal is not young, but he wears his age gracefully. He regrets nothing, like an embodiment of Piaf’s “Non, rien de rien”. His hair is perfect because he clearly spends time in front of the mirror styling it, not because the show’s producer wanted him to look effortlessly cool (*cough*Sherlock*cough*).

He never, ever loses his temper in public, as if he knows that the world/audience will not fawn over him for trying to assert himself through vulgarity, posturing, or volume - all the typical ways in which men like to hijack and dominate conversations.

He can dispatch a creepy stalker like Franklyn with a single neck twist, with no consequences. A sweet fantasy, indeed. If only real life stalkers were so easy to dispose of.

Hannibal’s victims - those who were not killed in self-defense or as ‘murder presents’ for Will - tend to fall into two categories: other killers who act like *they* are the baddest bitches in town (Gideon, Tobias, the mural guy) and people who disrespect him. Of those, there are surprisingly many. In fact, it seems like the very esteemed pillar of Baltimore society Dr. Lecter goes through life constantly being dissed. This is rather puzzling. Hannibal is a tall good-looking white gentleman who speaks like a professor, dresses like a count, and drives a Bentley that costs more than people’s houses. And yet something about him prompts many people, especially in the service industry, to be rude to him.

But he doesn’t confront these “pigs” (already a gender-loaded term, even though it gets applied to victims of both sexes) in a head-on, macho way. Instead, he bides his time and dispatches his prey through some kind of a sneak attack. His preferred philosophy of fighting is “feminine”: assume your opponent is physically stronger and don’t try to out-muscle them. (Even if his opponent is much smaller and weaker, like Chilton.) Subterfuge, ambush, sedatives - Hannibal wins his fights by fighting on his own terms. Nevertheless, if a man should come at him with a weapon, he defends himself with perfect adroitness: Tobias, Jack, Mason’s henchmen, etc.

Even some aspects of Hannibal’s relationship with Will would make more sense if he were female. In particular the issue of, well, issue. Hannibal is clearly Not Okay with Will having children with anyone but him. This is somewhat odd for a man, especially one who seems to have never wanted kids before this. But it makes sense for a woman just past menopause: fate finally delivered her dream partner, but it’s too late to have a family. And so Hannibal sets up the dominoes for Margot’s pregnancy to be terminated practically as soon as he learns of it. If he can’t have Will’s kids, then no one can. They may be adopted, but they have to be *theirs*.

It also makes sense that when Hannibal discovers Will’s treachery, he goes full Medea on him. Killing the man’s children is common to cultural narratives of wronged women all over the world. It’s often the only leverage they have over the men, the only way they can exact revenge. Hannibal can take much more than Abigail from Will, but she is the only thing he can take that truly matters.

Bonus exercise for the reader: imagine a version of the show where everything is the same, but Hannibal is played by Meryl Streep.

Both times, Hannibal was smaller and physically weaker. In Mizumono, he only got to Jack through cleverness; physically, Jack could throw him around like a rag doll. When they met again in Italy, Jack kicked his ass so thoroughly Hannibal had to save himself by falling out the window and hobbling off. Same with the Red Dragon: had they gone head to head, Hannibal would have been thoroughly pwned. 

Franklyn is the “friendzone” guy - he follows Hannibal when he’s shopping, he follows him to the opera, he wants more from their relationship than Hannibal wants to give. He steps over the clear boundaries Hannibal sets. Franklyn has two therapy sessions in Sorbet. Below is their usual seating arrangement. During the second, he tries to force the friend issue again through shared interests and he touches Hannibal (Honestly, it’s amazing that Hannibal didn’t nope the fuck out of there back to Europe when Franklyn called them “cheesefolk”. Anyway, I digress)

This is the seating arrangement in the following session. Hannibal’s moved the chairs so Franklyn can’t touch him.

Tobias is the guy that buys you an unwanted drink and thinks you owe him sex. He turns a terrible musician into a cello and “serenades” Hannibal. He tries to impress him and force a friendship.

Gideon is the co-worker that takes credit for your work and at the same time thinks he has a shot at a date. He’s “peacocking” for the Ripper when he murders the guards. Hannibal, hilariously, is like “nope” and tells the FBI where to find Gideon.

Francis. God, Francis puts Hannibal on a pedestal with the intention of treating him like he treats the mothers in families he murders, he wants to record Hannibal “melding” with the Dragon - just like he does with the mothers.

Pretty sure the story is that the site was made by Hugh’s mate, then he started posting his fanfics that he writes himself then got all his family on board. I have found posts by Claire, Claire’s dad, Hugh’s dad, Hugh’s older bro, Hugh’s college classmates, a scriptwriter, movie editor etc…

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My evening was fulfilling. And of course Hugh’s Dad, the philosopher, posted the one about Athens airport.

PS. My two favourite Hugh entries: Edinburg via Hugh “In December 2007, the 83 crew and passengers of EasyFlight 147 were lost somewhere between Gates 3 and 4 of the main terminal of EDI. Despite extensive searches in the airport’s washrooms, restaurants and duty-free shops, no trace was found of them. In January 2009, three survivors of the lost flight staggered out into the airport’s main corridor from behind a decorative pot plant. They were clearly in shock, and violently refused to walk upon EDI’s carpet, claiming it was a portal that had thrust them into a horrifying parallel universe from which only three of them had managed to escape.” Shangai via Hugh “The Chinese are like a man who arrives late to a party but brings with him a case of champagne, a box of cigars, and a flock of giggling debutantes. While so many of the world’s airports are ripping up their carpets, China has embraced the medium with under-footed majesty. Witness the modernist masterpiece that is PVG. Its palate - tasteful beiges, muted earth tones, grey blues - and streamlined pattern - seeming to reference the architectural lines of Eero Saarinen, Mies van der Rohe, and Arne Jacobsen - are unashamedly mid-century. But while its influences are undoubtedly European (how fitting for Shanghai, that most international of Chinese cities) the overall feel of the carpet is undeniably Chinese. It is a carpet that knows what it wants, and gets it too.”