Halloween, but make it Gay | Seasonal SPEEDPAINT

A set of festive sticker designs made to both celebrate Halloween and shine a light on the fact that it’s LGBT history month!🎃🌈 (Or: “I couldn’t find any gay Halloween merch that I liked, so I made my own”)

Also, this is my first narrated video since getting a new microphone setup! Certainly made a difference in terms of my editing process, but hopefully it sounds better too! \(^^)/

Last week I ordered a sandwich. The jovial man at the deli asked if I’d like a pickle with that. Attempting to match his casual, lighthearted demeanor, I said, “Yeah, sure. It’s a pickle kind of day.” He laughed. He kept laughing.

“Is it?” he wheezed.

“Yes,” I said, and attempted to mask my bewilderment at his amusement with another joke. “I woke up this morning and had a prophetic vision: before me sat my lunch, and with it was a deli pickle. It was fate.”

He laughed again and called his coworkers over to tell them that I had just said “it’s a pickle kind of day”. I shrugged it off and ate my lunch.

I just ordered another sandwich and as soon as he saw me approach, he waved a new woman over and said, “This is the pickle kid.” She looked at me and laughed.

“Repeat what you said about the pickle,” she said.

“No!” said the deli guy. “No no no no, don’t you repeat that out loud. Oh my god.”

“I have no idea what I said that was so funny,” I said.

“Sure you do,” he said. “Don’t play. You ‘don’t remember’ what you said about the pickle?”

“What, about the prophet vision, or about it being ‘a pickle kind of day’?”

Charlie: Fire is hot.

Justin: Fire is hot, that’s a great point. Salient and well-made.

Charlie: [singing] Mister sun, sun! Mister golden sun, please shine down on me!

Justin: Oh, the sun. [Charlie sings the same lines again] What do you think about the sun?

Charlie: It’s shining bright!

Justin: Mm-hmm. When does the sun come out?

Charlie: First–it–lights up the day!

Justin: And when does the moon come out?

Charlie: It’s at night.

Justin: What happens when the moon comes out during the day? [long pause] Now, I noticed you’re balling your fists up. What is that for?

Charlie: [long, high-pitched noise of consideration] Punch it!

Justin: You’re gonna punch the moon. [Charlie: Yeah!] Why?

Charlie: Because we’re knights!

Justin: We’re knights? [Charlie: Yeah.] Okay.

Charlie: Come on, Daddy, let’s fight the moon! [muffling sounds as she gets down]

Justin: Well. Um, I’m not sure we should fight the moon. It’s a very long way away. I’m–would– [Charlie babbles about the moon in the distance] Where’s the moon? Okay, she’s left the room. [Charlie makes punching sound effects in the distance] [Justin starts laughing] Can you punch the moon here, in the room with the microphone?

Charlie: [at a distance] Come on, Mommy!

Justin: Well, I guess that’s gonna do it for us. Um, is there anything else you’d like to say?

Charlie: Um…well. Look! Up there!

Justin: What do you see?

Charlie: On the bookshelf! [Justin: Uh-huh?] Look. There’s a present up there!

Justin: There’s a present up there? I don’t think so.

Charlie: Who is it?

Justin: You’re just…taking your headphones off now. Oh no, they’re falling apart. Okay, well let’s say goodbye. Say “bye-bye, Mommy.”

Charlie: Bye-bye, Mommy.

Sydnee: [at a slight distance] Bye-bye!

Charlie: Uh, that was a great podcast we did! Bye-bye, Daddy!

Justin: [laughing] Bye-bye, Charlie.

it is of course possible that Draco would have gotten the Death Eaters into the school some other way if the Vanishing Cabinet hadn’t created the perfect opportunity, but it wasn’t looking likely.

so like, it’s reasonable enough to assume that Dumbledore’s death (at the hands of Snape specifically, obviously I know he was going to die soon enough from the curse, but the timing does make a difference so I’m still focused on this) occurred because of the Death Eaters getting into the school. the reason the Death Eaters were able to get into the school was because of the Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement, which Draco repaired.

the Vanishing Cabinet ended up in the Room of Requirement over the summer of 1996, presumably (reasoning for this is in the next paragraph), and Draco discovered it there sometime in his 6th year. but the only reason he had even known what it was, and what it could do, was because he had spoken with….

Graham Montague, a Slytherin who was in 7th year in 1995-1996 (when Harry & co were in 5th year). Montague was shoved into the Vanishing Cabinet in that year by Fred and George Weasley, because he was a part of the Inquisitorial Squad and was presumably about to take points from the Weasley twins for doing something disruptive. and we know that Montague got stuck in a limbo between the two connected cabinets, due to one of them being broken - he could hear things being discussed in Borgin & Burkes, which is how he was able to let Malfoy know that the other “end of the tunnel”, or basically the other cabinet, was in Borgin & Burkes (which, Draco would already have seen as a 12-year-old, in the summer before his 2nd year, when he visited the shop with his father - fun fact, Harry hid in that exact cabinet while Lucius Malfoy was transacting with Borgin).

Montague would never have had this experience at all if the cabinet hadn’t been broken in the first place. but in fact, we know exactly how, when, why, and by whom the cabinet was broken.

it was in the fall of 1992, when Nearly Headless Nick observed that Harry had gotten in trouble with Filch, and prompted Peeves to drop that very same cabinet from a large height in order to cause a distraction for Filch, allowing Harry to get out of trouble.

why was Harry in trouble in the first place? because he was “tracking mud” in the corridors.

why was he tracking mud in the corridors? because Oliver Wood had had him out on the Quidditch pitch all day even though it had been literally storming outside. so Harry came into the castle drenched and splattered with mud.

Dumbledore literally died because of how obsessed Oliver Wood was with winning the Quidditch Cup.

to clarify:

the bits about the Vanishing Cabinet being the only real way he had to get the Death Eaters in, having heard about it from Montague and how that made him realize he could use them as a passage, etc - that was all clearly laid out in HBP, chapter 27 (The Lightning-Struck Tower).

Montague being shoved into the cabinet takes place in OOTP, chapter 28 (Snape’s Worst Memory).

Draco seeing the cabinet and Harry being in the cabinet is all in CoS, chapter 4 (At Flourish and Blotts).

and the entire situation with the Quidditch practice and the mud and Harry getting in trouble and Nick getting Peeves to drop the cabinet is in CoS, chapter 8 (The Deathday Party).

first of all there’s a step leading into it but the door closes before it so you open it and surprise step. very easy to trip

it’s fucking carpeted. like. around the sink is not carpeted but the carpeting goes right up to and behind the toilet. what do you do if the toilet floods

there’s ... this. baby changing station i guess? weird counter

big window with no way of putting curtains on it

four places to hang towels even though there’s no shower in this bathroom

there’s also a hallway leading to this bathroom but it’s the only thing that the hallway leads to

in conclusion:

doesn’t seem too bad from the outside right? cute little yellow shed

SURPRISE

MURDER MURDER MURDER SHED

of course, lit by a single naked bulb

murder shed 

the doors to the murder shed would be open every morning when i got up, no matter how early i got up, without fail. the doors are both latched and bolted. they would always open in the middle of the night. one day this just STOPPED happening and i have not been in there since. it hasn’t opened in like two weeks. we’ve had severe storms and sudden fluctuations in temperature. they have remained closed

cursed bathroom 

the door has slats in it. like you can hear through the door and look through it if youre looking at the right angle 

the toilet is not stable. like it leans if you move and jiggles. im worried one day its just going to tip over and spill all over the carpet 

the faucet handle is broken. you can turn it on fine but it just comes off if you try to turn the water off. you have to jam it back on, hold the handle into the base, and force it down 

the toilet has the slowest flush i’ve ever witnessed. every single time i think its either not going to flush or its going to back up. like flushing this toilet is a prolonged experience 

misc 

there are multiple entrances to every room but only one lightswitch in each and its never by the door it should be. my roommate’s light switch is like in the middle of the wall 

i think my ceiling fan is a ghost fan? (rotom??) like no matter what speed you have it on, even if its moving very quickly, it produces no change in air current whatsoever. you can hear the blades whooshing but absolutely cannot feel any sort of breeze no matter where you’re standing in the room 

the basement has a bathroom, with a completely non-enclosed shower (its just a showerhead on the wall in the corner) and theres no drain its just a six inch hole in the floor. like going into dirt. there’s a garden hose going down into the hole and i dont know what its for

there is a large dark stain in the middle of the carpet in one room (small person sized)

when we came to tour the house the only things in it were a broken dollhouse and several stacks of childrens books written in hebrew (there are only 5,000 jews in all of iowa (0.2% of the population) and i am one of those people) 

i revoke the original post that said that was the most cursed bathroom. it is truly the basement bathroom that holds that title. Cursed indeed

starting you off with the easy pic because you need time to mentally prepare yourself

rest here, traveler. the journey ahead is treacherous

okay, i warned you

here’s the shower. just like. on the wall. no sort of enclosed space whatsoever

don’t worry about drainage you got this sick ass hole in the floor with the basement hose. you know, the basement hose, found in every standard basement?

the toilet, conveniently situated right next to the fuse box so you won’t be scared if the power goes out when you’re pooping!

but ALAS. what’s this?

oh yeah, it’s just that dark space under the stairs that’s right behind the toilet half wall. but don’t worry - if you’re concerned about someone watching you while you’re on the toilet, there’s some blinds you can pull down!

target women’s section: would you like to have a giant scoop neck that would definitely like completely show at least one of your boobs. would you, an adult woman, like to wear a crop top? would you like to look like a human piñata. BLACK? I think you mean jewel tones babey!

Halloween, but make it Gay 🎃🌈

I couldn’t find any gay Halloween merch that I liked, so I made my own!

Drew these designs for this week’s speedpaint in order to both celebrate Halloween and shine a light on the fact that it’s LGBT history month! 

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(If you like the look of these designs, you can pick your favorites up over on Redbubble!)