Iduhkno

After I came out as an adult to my childhood best friend, he went back to his family and told them and then when we next spoke he said, ‘we’ve decided this is a good move for you.’

Anyway I'm thinking about witches and wizards a lot because my house has been planning an Evil Wizard Movie Night series where we and our friends watch movies about evil wizards while dressed up as evil wizards. What kinds of snacks do you think evil wizards eat.

evil wizards eat green grapes. prepare two bowls: one frozen and one microwaved. then mix them together. you’ll be surprised!

Not that I condone the actions of evil wizards, my liege, but I would suggest perhaps some hummus and pita chips. You can't go wrong with hummus and pita chips.

not now evil advisor… im trying to trick people into microwaving grapes again

I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU

Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs

IN A SCARY WAY

Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!

I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION

Your eyes shine a very painful green light. You are odorous and pungent. You are loved.

Something something great gatsby

I never read it, is there a fucking bog witch in the great Gatsby?

Ye. She hatches out of a giant egg borne of the blood and ash of the poor and her glowing green eyes lure this one rich fuck into the great big salty bog just outside his house. She's a role model

I finally understand the appeal of the great gatsby

Long ago before they went different ways an elven and a human child made a promise to marry another in a thousand years if they didn't find anyone else they love. Now a thousand years later the unmarried elf knows that humans can't life that long, but the lich still came to keep their promise.

a princess who only has her hands to entertain herself in the night and the knight who shares a bedroom wall with her and is being tested by god

She's doing shadow puppets and the knight can't see who's making them

As soon as you set foot in the darkened mine, your sword glows, as it always does when danger is near. Your companions trade nervous looks as you pull the sword out and consult the runes appearing on the blade. "This dwarven guardrail is an OSHA violation," you announce. "Too short for humans."

I forgot DW was an ardvark and I though she was just getting roasted

Americans really will use anything but metric