sweet like honey, fuzzy like sheep- that's a beep!

paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for experimental elective dental surgery where they fill my mouth with shark teeth so i can give worse blowjobs

Butch won’t be my companion. He’s like you’re too intense. You must’ve turned on that computer like 50 times in a row last time.

What’s really funny about lowering your karma this way is that after you do a major good Karma action and listen to the radio, the radio DJ Three Dog will be like this horrible fucker from vault 101 we all hate him so much you know that guy? He did another fucking thing. He saved a thousand orphans.

*looking at a ship* they’d look good killing each other

I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.

Or even like... Cannon warfare.

Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

under my tyrannical rule all characters will be on the aroace spectrum

"what if severence happened and it felt like your brain was shutting on and off when you left work" gee what if

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

I’m kind of a pointless person with no reason to be