maybe the real oath was the sunk cost fallacy we made along the way
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@glossedmouth
maybe the real oath was the sunk cost fallacy we made along the way

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The Rescue of Maedhros
the best thing a man can be is gay and suicidal and miserable and utterly unlikable and unpleasant to be around and prone to addiction and abused and traumatized and not breaking the cycle and
fuck around and find out
hollanov, 🔞
1581 w.
Ilya does get on his knees on that filthy bathroom floor and sucks Shane's dick.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/85819531

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there should be coming of age stories for people turning 30
Lord of the Rings
Friendly reminder that at the birthday party at the beginning of lotr frodo turned 33, SEVENTEEN YEARS LATER he went on the quest to destroy the one ring
Its never too late to gain a unique and horrifying trauma
Lord of the rings from Saurons perspective is a fucking fever dream because he started by reforming his essence into some physical form in mirkwood and before he even has enough strength to feel that the ring was even in the same forest as him he gets chased off by a group of wizards and elves looking to fuck some shit up. There goes his plan to get a dragon on his side
So he holds up in mordor gathering a new army, and only after about a century is he strong enough to do cool magic shit again, by that time however the ring hadnt been used in decades so there were no whispers of it except oops we found this weird little fucker who keeps yelling about his fucking precious, better go check out “shire baggins” whatever the fuck that is
So he finds out a fucking hobbit has his ring which in middle earth terms is like finding out mr magoo has your fucking nuclear launch codes. So he starts sending wave after wave of his own men to get the ring and they keep failing cause this fucking hobbit has friends. He has his homie saruman send some uruk-hai to get them and then sends some goblins to make sure everything goes right but for no apparent reason they stop reporting in, (something about horses and trees?) so he sends a guy to ask saruman straight out wheres my fucking ring and saruman straight up lies about it. Next thing he hears saruman has launched an all our invasion of rohan with 10000 uruk-hai so rip the bronies right? Nope the next day his army is defeated and saruman has fucking vanished.
Confused as fuck now sauron gets a fucking phone call from a god damn hobbit (ITS YOU!) but all he gets out of the little sovereign citizen is some shit about “i do not answer questions” and next thing he hears the hobbit has gone to fucking gondor. Alright send fucking everything we got, take gondor do whatever it takes get my fucking ring back. And what does he have to worry about right? After all even if rohan helps he’ll still win. Wtf is that an army of ghosts???!?!?!?
So then hes sitting there with his diminished army trying to figure out his next plan of attack and he gets another fucking phone call from the god damn great grandson of the prick who cut off his ring in the first place. “Oi cunt i got ur ring and im gonna fuc u up m8!” *click*
Goody he thinks, this arrogant sob is gonna bring my ring right to me, time to throw everything i got at this bastard. So then the fight starts hes super excited cause hes clearly winning and OH DEAR GOD MY RING IS IN THE VOLCANO HOW THE FU- *dies*
Now hes a weird ghost thing that cant ever do anything but lament how big a prick he is
One Ring to rule them all

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The Moon. Art by Emily Lubanko, from The Lubanko Tarot.
comic by my buddy @kcadbackwards. illustrations by me :)
follow me on X and bluesky!!
This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.
laughing about the idea of shane just being fucking Over It on round 20349898 of getting asked about if he ever let ilya beat him in a game and his media coaching slipping enough for him to just deadpan, "have you heard how annoying he is when he wins? you think i would ever let that happen on purpose?"
every x-men media ever
episode one
episode two
episode three
episode four
episode five
episode six
episode seven
episode eight

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like it’s maybe going to sound odd but the fact that shane’s parents don’t realize he’s the horniest person alive is actually the crux of it. because it’s so clear that sex isn’t just sex to shane he is taking his entire strangled sense personhood and shoving it in the gay sex basket. it’s psychologically load bearing. it has eclipsed the basic concept of sexual desire and come to contain ALL libido and desire and want. like him being gay is almost inconsequential because it’s fine he can be gay in a bank of america pride float kind of way. but them not seeing shane as horny, not even in the way parents might typically assume their teenaged / young twenties son is horny, THAT is crazy and demonstrates that they don’t know shane at all. they bought the canadian teen heartthrob boy next door branding which they themselves designed. that’s Crazy.
His mum in his hotel at 9 o'clock at night, his dad barging into his home without having gotten permission to come in first, as if the idea of Shane wanting/needing/deserving privacy anywhere simply never entered their minds. Is it any wonder Shane, a grown man, feels like he has to explain where he's going to Hayden, another grown man?
ilya 'needy top' rozanov