the ghost in your basement wants its memories back

i need to press that man like a flower. get in the book boy

please eat enough and drink enough water and get enough sleep. this is so that you have enough energy. because we need you to be writing and drawing porn on the internet

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

I always have trouble with those “would you and your favorite fictional character get along” questions honestly just because of a straight up lack of imagination on my part. Even if we lived in the same universe I can’t imagine why we’d be talking to each other. I work in marketing

what a beautiful time of year everyone is growing veegtables for me spacifically, one problem though you need to make fences shorter im sure its a mistake but i cant reach some of them

hello imptortant message from deer youyr doing it agen. i cant eet the vegbals you are growing for me like this

Handing the Google executive currently chained in my basement a piece of paper that reads "Shall I end your torture?" with one checkbox that reads "No" and another that reads "Maybe later."

Cuck chair? No this is the director's chair. Cut! Where is the passion, guys? Try thinking of me

I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.

aftercare for posting on ao3

your fic was good you did grammar good you’re the kind of freak people like everything’s cool dude :^)

the other night I dreamt that ao3 got a new number go up button titled "jorked it"