I Remember All of Them

My piece for @booksandabeer who won my offer in @marveltrumpshate 2025!

She requested an Art Deco Bucky to pair with the Steve portrait I did last year for MTH! I found this go round a bit easier since I did a lot of the research already for Steve, I shared all the inspiration for this piece in my Ao3 post!

Has anyone else done zombie Bucky yet? 

Race absolutely matters. Racism absolutely exists. But different racial groups are stereotyped in different ways, and those stereotypes can produce completely different social expectations.

For example, I’ve seen people criticize Rachel and Jacob for joking about Hudson being unintelligent because he’s a person of color. If Hudson were Black, I would understand that criticism more, because there is a long history of anti-Black stereotypes portraying Black people as unintelligent. But Hudson is Asian. Asian men are stereotyped in almost the opposite way. They’re often assumed to be intelligent, studious, and academically successful. The stereotype is still racist, but it’s a different stereotype. It doesn’t suddenly become an anti-Asian stereotype just because we’ve replaced “Asian” with the broader category of “POC.”

The same thing happens constantly in fanfiction with Shane.

A lot of writers portray Shane as being afraid to fight because he knows he’ll be judged more harshly than white players. I understand where that idea is coming from, but as a black person I’ve never found it particularly convincing.

If Shane were black, that analysis would make more sense to me. Black men are often stereotyped as aggressive, which means behavior that is considered acceptable from white athletes is often interpreted differently when black ones do it.

But asian men occupy a very different place in the racial imagination. They’re frequently stereotyped as passive, non-threatening, weak, nerdy, emasculated, etc. If racial stereotypes were influencing Shane’s approach to hockey, I could just as easily imagine the opposite dynamic: feeling pressure to prove he’s aggressive enough to belong. Maybe he’s fighting TOO much.

But that doesn’t make sense for Shane. He’s the league’s golden boy. He’s polite, media-friendly, and heavily inspired by Sidney Crosby. He’s a superstar. Fighting is often delegated to players lower on the depth chart whose role is specifically to provide physicality. Star players generally aren’t expected to be enforcers. Teams usually want their elite talent scoring goals, not sitting in the penalty box after dropping the gloves.

So Shane not fighting much doesn’t strike me as evidence of racial pressure. It strikes me as evidence that he’s Shane Hollander.

Crosby is a useful comparison here. For years, people mocked him for not being physical enough (and for talking to the refs too much). They questioned his toughness and masculinity. They called him “Crybaby Crosby” or “Cindy Crosby.” Fans edited photos of him in dresses or makeup. The criticism wasn’t really about hockey. The joke was that he wasn’t a “real man.”

And that’s a white player.

Imagine how much worse those conversations could become if the player in question were Asian.

That’s the kind of racial dynamic I could actually see affecting Shane, not him worrying about people thinking he’s too aggressive, but people questioning whether aggressive ENOUGH.

There’s a good chance that if Shane fought exactly like many white players, he probably still wouldn’t be viewed as tough enough. Meanwhile, if a Black player fought exactly like those same white players, he might be interpreted as more aggressive.

People often criticize Rachel for not doing much racial analysis in the books. But sometimes fandom fills that gap with racial analysis that feels disconnected from both hockey culture and the specific stereotypes that affect different racial groups.

Not every POC experience is interchangeable.

A stereotype that affects Black athletes is not automatically a stereotype that affects Asian athletes. A stereotype that affects Latino athletes is not automatically a stereotype that affects Indigenous athletes.

If we’re going to talk about race- and we should- we have to talk about the actual racial dynamics at play, not just substitute “person of color” for a more specific analysis.

No I agreeeeeeee I think the only way Shane would have been okay with it is if they were Polaroids that he could look away safely, know where they are and keep them safe under lock and key. They each have their own fancy lock boxes that Shane bought them, keys safely stored away. They have a handful of Polaroid that are just for them. It is a bit over the top- Shane knows but this is the most precious thing to him he can’t risk it.

The photos include:

Shane on his knees, face planted into Ilya’s crotch, Ilya’s hand cradling the back of his head

Shane laid on the bed, eyes closed, face blissed out with his face covered in Ilya’s cum, Ilya’s thumb playing with his lips

Shane on his knees, Ilya’s hand gripping his waist

Ilya naked and flexing with a big stupid grin

Ilya between Shane’s legs, Shane’s thighs over his shoulders, only his curls visible

Shanes ass, Ilya’s big hand gripping one cheek, able to see a hint of his hole, dripping out cum and puffy

Ilyas chest, covered in cum

Shane’s chest, covered in cum

Blurry photo of Shane sat across Ilya’s lap, mid riding him, cock hard and dripping against his tummy

Ilya personally vetting each dom. Health screening, interviews, video submissions of them with other partners.

Ilya briefing them before hand. Hard limits. Soft limits. Safe words. Things only Ilya can do - not them. They may not speak to Shane but they can speak about him; to Ilya or each other. They may not touch Shane without Ilya's go ahead, the group negotiates a silent signal for this.

The most watertight NDA's ever put to print.

Harrison Ford arrives for Apple TV's "Shrinking" Emmy FYC Event Screening

DGA Theater Complex | Los Angeles, CA | June 6, 2026

realised it lwk looks like steve is grinning as he says it, not the intention, picture this being bucky's inner thoughts