Thing Enjoyer

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

im a fake fan of everything i like because i cant remember anything

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate

I can no longer remember the title of the book it’s from, but here’s a quote that has remained trapped in my head for the last 8 years: “Driving in Ireland is dangerous because the roads are full of old farmers who’ve led good lives and are fairly sure they’ll get into heaven.”

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

the truth is that buried beneath the OCD version of me that's always in fight or flight mode is a laid back guy who really does not give a fuck and is happy to do whatever. and i just gotta Dig Him Out

hey gamers I’ve started watching star trek does anyone else see the romantic tension between captain kirk and mr. spock

let's all have a fun time looking up new words when we encounter them to see what they mean before incorporating them into our vocabularies

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

"ingredients you can pronounce" i can pronounce anything