girls go to college to become nonbinary. boys go to jupiter to become nonbinary
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@genderhexadecimal
girls go to college to become nonbinary. boys go to jupiter to become nonbinary

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this trans day of visibility i would really appreciate it if we all took some time to think about the nonbinary people who are invisible. the nonbinary people who aren't out in real life yet. the nonbinary people who haven't medically transitioned one way or the other and so are only recognized as their assigned gender. the nonbinary people who have or want to medically transition but can only find resources worded and written for trans men and trans women. nonbinary people who stop using all pronouns because they were only ever getting the same two anyway. nonbinary people who forced themselves to accept pronouns that feel wrong because their neopronouns were "too confusing" or "too weird". nonbinary people who force themselves to accept gendered labels because "what are we supposed to do, come up with whole new words??" nonbinary people who don't have the option of non-gendered pronouns or terms in their language. nonbinary people who stopped identifying as nonbinary and accepted a lifetime of discomfort because it was easier for their own community to accept a sad man or woman (trans or cis) than it was to accept a happy nonbinary person.
none of these are hypotheticals. all of these are real people. they exist, and they're invisible.
please see them.
u tell someone yr nonbiny and they go oh trans masc or trans fem and its like. neither i said theres non of the biny that means zero biney
Trans people: which of your parents is more supportive?
Transfem: mother is more supportive
Transfem: father is more supportive
Transfem: both about the same
Transmasc: mother is more supportive
Transmasc: father is more supportive
Transmasc: both about the same
Transneutral/other: mother is more supportive
Transneutral/other: father is more supportive
Transneutral/other: both about the same
Parent situation is more complicated than this
I'm cis (don't worry, nobody's perfect)
'More supportive' doesn't necessarily mean 'supportive' - it could just be 'less unsupportive'.
'About the same' could mean equally good or equally bad.
Today is a good day. A trans girl is trying on a skirt for the first time. She is growing out her hair and toying with a new name and asking her friends to try out she/her pronouns for her. It’s always a good day when the world gains a new trans girl. Remember this.
And a trans guy is cutting his hair. He is toying with a new name and asking his friends to try out he/him pronouns for him.
It’s always a good day when the world gains a new trans guy. A new trans person. Remember this
and an enby is dying their hair. they are toying with a new name and asking their friends to try out they/them pronouns for them.
it’s always a good day when the world gains a new enby. a new trans person. Remember this.

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the thing is. being nonbinary means acknowledging that even people who want to be gender affirming--people who do all the right things, who care about others, who believe in your humanity--are still likely to never see you as anything except the binary gender you most closely resemble.
it's a bias. it's a thing society has wired into their brains, and they don't have enough exposure-based repetition to meaningfully undo the years of societal conditioning. chances are, even you feel this way about yourself and others, despite how hard you try not to.
and that's not me saying you should stop trying; you should still keep up that effort. it's better than nothing, and maybe it'll culminate in something bigger than all of us.
but there is a certain solemn reality check many of us have. & I think many trans people who realize they will likely never pass have this moment of recognition as well. and not from dysphoria-induced brain worms pre/early-hrt, but from being years on various interventions & coming to a point of acceptance about the reality of the cards you've been dealt & finding a way of living happily in spite of that
I just find that there are many many trans people, especially binary trans people, who can't wrap their head around anything except a very "toxic positivity" version of being trans & our experiences. at some level, most nonbinary people eventually recognize that how we view ourselves is not likely to ever be fully reflected by others.
we persist onwards, regardless. we still live our lives because we have to. and it is that coming to face with our own mortality of sorts that I think causes many of the rifts in the trans community. it's a type of maturity that not everyone gets to, even many nonbinary people, but for those of us who do and are able to integrate that and accept that we should still keep trying anyways... idk, you look at discourse a lot differently.
being gendered correctly by strangers isn't as dire to me because that dysphoria has been so thoroughly exhausted that I've had to make a conscious decision to stop paying attention to it for my own mental health's sake, because there's literally nothing I can do to change that. that doesn't mean I don't care. it means I've taken a realistic look at the situation and decided to focus on what I can tangibly impact instead. because I'd be dead if I didn't do that.
I think many of the heavily mocked "femme presenting nonbinary theyfabs who don't take hrt and look and act like a cis woman" out there are in a similar position. I don't think these people don't care. I think it's that they know nobody will change no matter what they do & they've reached a point of acceptance with it, so they see little point in doing anything about it.
it's a place of apathy & source of heartache for more people than I think some people ridiculing them realize. that's why they react so strongly to people basically bullying them online.
because most of those people are just trying to exist in a way that they find fun or aesthetically pleasing, because they realize that there's nothing else they can do. so they distract themselves with makeup and clothes and "girly" things that appeal to their eyes because they are small happinesses that society only genders because cisheteromasculinity prides itself on being devoid of beauty and joy more often than not, and if you're stuck in a prison of biology's making you might as well choose the presentation that lets you paint your nails and look at pretty things and pretty colors with less overt pushback (i.e. fitting the status quo, not necessarily that femininity isn't routinely degraded, it just receives less immediate threats to your safety to do the things society expects of you).
it is a strategic choice that they do not even want to be making in the first place, because it inherently relies on their misgendering.
...but it's what makes the most sense to a lot of people. that's why it's so common. and when you ridicule that, you poke and prod at all of those wounds that you're unaware even exist, because you assume they don't exist.
meanwhile they may have faced more suffering and agony at this positionality than you have. but it's an invisible suffering. so it's easy to poke fun at. you don't live in their head, though. you make assumptions upon assumptions about people, failing to recognize that sometimes there's no "good" solution & you've just gotta do what you can to survive in the least miserable way you possibly can, and that being in that position itself (inside a society that you know will probably never accept anything even close to you, at least not in your lifetime) is a type of trauma that changes you on a fundamental level. it fucks with your head. that's why these people act this way.
and while I'm somebody who has medically transitioned, I fucking get it.
Nonbinary/genderqueer people: imagine you're taking some kind of survey, and it asks you to select your gender. It includes an option for 'nonbinary/genderqueer/other', as well as 'prefer not to say'.
Which would you choose?
I would always select 'other'
I would select 'other' unless I thought it would impact me negatively
I would only select 'other' for an explicitly LGBTQ+ survey
I would only select 'other' for an anonymous survey
I would only select 'other' for both of the above
I would always select 'prefer not to say'
I would choose based on other criteria (in tags)
I have a binary gender but would still choose 'prefer not to say'
I have a binary gender and would select that gender
I have a binary gender and it would depend
Something else/I just want the results
Nonbinary people: which is worse?
Getting misgendered as male (I was AFAB)
Getting misgendered as female (I was AFAB)
Both equally bad (I was AFAB)
Getting misgendered as male (I was AMAB)
Getting misgendered as female (I was AMAB)
Both equally bad (I was AMAB)
Getting misgendered as male (my gender assignment was more complicated)
Getting misgendered as female (my gender assignment was more complicated)
Both equally bad (my gender assignment was more complicated)
This kind of misgendering can't happen to me
See results
AFAB = assigned female at birth
AMAB = assigned male at birth
If you can be misgendered this way but neither really bothers you, that's still 'equally bad' because 0 = 0.
Oh yeah and this is about personal feelings, not like... how moral it is to misgender one way vs another. (How would that even work?)
which would you rather have
a penis
a vagina
neither
some combination of both
nonbinary people, what pronouns do you use?
he/him or she/her
they/them
it/its
i use any pronouns
i use a combination (ex: she/they)
i use neopronouns
i use no pronouns
i use something else
i'm not nonbinary/see results

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I feel like many binary people don’t consider that there’s many nonbinary people who regardless of transition could never “pass” as their gender in a binary world. That it’s just impossible because there’s not a social place for our genders, no matter what we do or look like we will at best be seen as confusing and weird or an *insert slur here.*
And we, as said nonbinary people, don’t talk enough about how exhausting it is. That we will never be casually correctly gendered in day to day public life. That’s not something we get to have. It’s get misgendered or try to start a potentially dangerous and overall socially unacceptable dialogue about your gender and pronouns with every person who *might* address you (impossible). And we don’t talk about it for specific reasons. The reasons is exorsexism
Source | Day 438
In those heavy days in June,
When love became an act of defiance.
(A landscape piece combining the colours of my pride flags.)
It's really annoying to be seen as a gender, it's really frustrating, especially legally, because It really does feel like I'm trapped in your perception of me.
It's never a non binary gender either. It's always cis. they look at me and they project cisness onto me, and it's really annoying because it comes with a lot of misogyny and transphobia. Hate it. Hate it.
most of the time I'd be okay with being seen as some sort of icky masculine freak of a woman, if it didn't come with even more misogyny, and definitely not less.
then having to pretend to be a binary or cis gender for your own safety is a constant stream of "I hope they don't find out. I hope I'm able to pass enough" so they project it onto you and you have to play along. It's annoying and scary and not a privilege
The 2025 Gender Census is now open!
[ Link to survey ]
The 12th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 30th August 2025.
It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.
After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.
If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!
Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com
The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.
Thank you so much!
[ Link to survey ]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Source | Day 23
In those heavy days in June,
When love became an act of defiance.
(A landscape piece combining the colours of my pride flags.)