I like shapes

Someone was just setting the table for Christmas lunch when they took half a minute to lay out this vocabulary-changing bsky post, then carried on with their day...

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

This would make hockey players the cats of sports. Random zoomies, chasing the little dot, knocking things over, and not admitting sickness or injury until nearly dead.

Cider is like if beer transitioned and stopped hating herself

full of hate and malice...you know how it is with me...

if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

Horses are also expensive horses that love to die aren't they

Had a dream where Johnny from “The Devil Went Down To Georgia” came out as a trans woman and the response was so unanimously positive it reversed nearly all of the transphobic bills in the South. She played live in Georgia to an audience of about a third of the US.

Happy late pride month to Joanie, the best that’s ever been 🏳️‍⚧️

Joanie recently changed her name to Jolene because “it’s funnier”, she says

Thats the context for this meme???

I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

what doesn’t kill me leaves a pit in my stomach that never goes away

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

ok guys but imagine how hard it's gonna hit if something good ever happens again

you need to understand that i have two sets of headcanons. there's the set of realistic headcanons based on my genuine reading of the show, and then there's me playing pretend with my dolls.