i am constantly yearning

just had a pumpkin spice latte for the first time. this fucks. everyone apologise to women right now

if you're on this post saying "yeah it tastes fine but some women took it Too Far" you need to apologise to women. who cares if they got over excited about a coffee drink. yes even the white women. apologise now.

"preheat"? dude i dont even HEAT my oven. thats right. im cooking my shit coldstyle. im stretching the definition of "cooking" far beyond its ultimate tensile strength. my chicken breasts are the most gorgeous pink color you've ever seen. they look like rosebuds on the very cusp of blooming. they look like the dawn when you're in love. hospital.

small musicians who don't post their lyrics online anywhere. Why do you hate me

They don’t hate you. It’s just hard for them to use keyboards cause they gotta jump from one button to the next and they aren’t heavy enough to actually press them

Everyone makes fun of the fandom bitches but every once in a while they drop "Tom Nook and Crazy Redd are divorced" and we all go "Yes. Of course. Absolutely."

It's so funny when even the most jaded haterly mfers on this website quietly nod and go "You're right. I do think Bowser is a present father figure to his kids."

70% of the socially acceptible hornyposting on this website is bottomposting. let's normalize posting about like. glazing a bunnyboy like a cake. filling him like a doughnut. i don't know why those are both food euphemisms but you get the idea. cum in his pussy tuesday or whatever

call him my washing machine on saturdays the way i need to fill him up with at least three consecutive extra large loads. et cetera

and tthe only essential oil these days is the one in our cars run on , this says something

the in our cars run on 👍

maia you forgot "one" between the and in

one 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

two 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

three 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

four 👍👍

nothing wrong with me

one 👍👍👍

something's got to give

two 👍👍👍

something's got to give

three 👍👍👍

something's got to give

boycock? aint that that thing you fuckers can’t do to chick fillet

One of the fun things about using tumblr is every once in a while your dash will get flooded with a very specific kind of content and you have to ask “okay, did something happen in the world recently to make everyone care about this, or do i have one mutual that’s just really into posting about johnny appleseed today”

Its time to play everybody's favorite game show....HYPER FIXATION OR UNPRECEDENTED EVENT!!! *cue game show music*