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trying on a metaphor
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@ganthritorchic
KOTATSU KITTY

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important things happening in r/cats
2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago
hey op guess what
oh nevermind you’re died
this one . i missed this . that great you can go ahead and order it
i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and
This is exactly what trying to do normal stuff while having a depressive episode feels like

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i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
@sineala
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
actual footage of first contact makeouts
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job
This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.
They could have explained none of it and responded to the offered hand with a polite bow. First contact was gonna be with the guy who proved they were technologically ready for it but any human aware of Japan and China would recognise that
period
My only previous experience with Ben McKenzie before this post was watching him play Jim Gordon in the show Gotham. I had no idea he'd made a documentary or co-wrote an investigative journalism book on the subject of cryptocurrency until I googled him after watching the video. Turns out he's been interested in the subject since his time working on his undergraduate economics degree.
Sharing to hopefully spread this information to anyone else who would be interested but had no idea his book or documentary existed
more white men need to be pursuing the teen heartthrob to leftist investigative journalist career path
ILYA WEEK | day 1: favourite moment

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Phryne Fisher + Jack Robinson → Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Most Unhinged Act of Devotion in MDZS
Wei Wuxian giving his golden core to Jiang Cheng
Xiao Xingchen giving his eyes to Song Lan
Lan Wangji fighting 33 Lan elders + getting lashed for Wei Wuxian
Lan Xichen being willing to die with Jin Guangyao
Wen Ning + Wen Qing sacrificing themselves for the other Wen Remnants & WWX
OP you're forgetting... (specify)
the power of hitting 'end task' on a glitchy program in task manager is intoxicating. i feel like an assassin. i feel like a tyrant. you don't want to work properly? begone. off with your head. i need to kill my apps with a guillotine
If I ever don’t reblog this, you can assume I’m dead. It’s just pure, sound-design gold.
The cuts, the slow ramp-ups, how it matches his dance moves.
MWAH.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Happy Sunday, everyone! Have you guys seen that new movie where a guy doesn’t want to go to outer space? Did you know that there’s a song about a guy who doesn’t want to go to outer space? Did you know that with the right tools, you can edit clips from a film together and set them to a song in such a way that the thematic parallels become apparent? Now you know!
Also, did you know that I post a new vid every Sunday, and that you can subscribe to my YT channel for more entertainment of this nature? Now you know!
The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner