hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.
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@gambitman
hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.

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We’ve got a Handler on base who has attempting to Handle their hound properly for a few weeks now. Girl has some very strange speech patterns that no amount of conditioning seems to shake.
The dog has also been surprisingly independent, even after all the conditioning they can muster - seems to be very curious to watch her Handler working. It’s all ok because the things a devil in the field, seems to almost know what the enemy is thinking, and even if some of the victories seem… off. And you can’t argue with results!
Oh, there she goes again with those odd speech patterns. Weird. Never seen a Hound refer to a Handler like that. “O handler mine”. They really do know how to pick ‘em.
We’ve got a Handler on base who has attempting to Handle their hound properly for a few weeks now. Girl has some very strange speech patterns that no amount of conditioning seems to shake.
The dog has also been surprisingly independent, even after all the conditioning they can muster - seems to be very curious to watch her Handler working. It’s all ok because the things a devil in the field, seems to almost know what the enemy is thinking, and even if some of the victories seem… off. And you can’t argue with results!
Oh, there she goes again with those odd speech patterns. Weird. Never seen a Hound refer to a Handler like that. “O handler mine”. They really do know how to pick ‘em.
handler who controls five hounds with a duel disk. is this anything
Handler, visibly panicked: "Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck they're on the way, we're going to die-"
Their hound: "Handler... who's coming- why are you so scared?"
The handler, still panicking: "OSHA. OSHA are coming! Hound, we are so fucked."

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We completed the installation of her new breathing system and she looks fantastic. The muzzle keeps her mouth shut and the stitches are healing correctly, so she won't be able to do anything but breathe through her nose. That will augment the natural production of Nitric Oxide in her system, which in turn will make for greater oxygen absortion and distribution. On top of that, we'll make sure to supply her with some more NO in case she needs it, and we'll be monitoring her blood's CO2 to make sure the oxygen percentage supplied to her will be the perfect quantity.
This has proven effective enough in augmenting reaction speeds and procuring a greater capacity for thought in combat-heavy environments, but we have added a safeguard just in case. If this hound were to start hyperventilating, thus disrupting her O2 to CO2 ratios, we can activate a forced respirator which will slow down her breathing mechanically. In that case, the nerves connecting to the diaphragm will lose their independence and become dependant on signals sent by us, which also serves as a tool to control our most unruly assets.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Mutt? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Imperial Handler Training!, and I've been involved in numerous secret War-crimes on Rebel Space, and I have over 300 confirmed Hounds. I am trained in psychosexual warfare and I'm the top Handler in the entire Imperial armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another Victim. I will Condition you the fuck out with Starlight the likes of which has never been seen before on this rock, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Comms? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Dog Mechs across the Highlands and your Callsign is being traced right now so you better prepare for the Programming, Mutt The Programming that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Ego. You're a fucking Shell, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can Corrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my gloved hands. Not only am I extensively trained in Gaslighting, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Imperial Kennel Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" Ambush was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you Gods abandoned idiot. I will put my boot all over you and you will fuck it. You're fucking dead, Mutt!
-Jane Handler
Bartender: You don't remember me do you? Handler: Should I? Bartender: You conditioned my brother! Handler: That could be literally thousands of people. Bartender: Used his one true love to break him. Handler: Hundreds. Bartender: The one true love was a man. Handler: At least fifty. Bartender: He was still cis. Handler: clapping hands on table Ah! So you're Tony Roilands brother.
alleged switch gets topped by the most pathetic bottom of all time
PA Jingle
"Notice to all staff, Hounds are now forbidden from watching any Kung-Fu movies. We'd much prefer it if Hounds didn't attempt to preform drop kicks in their mech. Thank you."
PA jingle
"The Handler is nerfing your potential. Keep dropkicking those fuckers."

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A Mech Tech's Guide To Ursas
Aight y'all, still doing the full writeup on Gators, convincing Handler Fist to actually help me with it is taking some effort, he's a very stubborn man. I even offered to let him tap it, and he turned me down!
...ok maybe that was purely me selfish Bisexual Urges.
ANYWAYS!
Ursas!
You likely have heard about Guard Hounds, I've talked about them offhandedly. Well, these are an evolution of that!
The process of making one draws from several schools of pilot creation, hypnosis, ego theories and whatnot, but here's the important part:
An Ursa isn't programmed for offensive ferocity, they're programmed for DEFENSIVE ferocity.
When inactive, an Ursa is the nicest subtype you'll meet. This is intended, because when deactivated a Handler must cultivate strong bonds with the Ursa's 'kin'.
Here's the rough outline to making an Ursa's mindscape:
Take a pilot that likes armored fast brawlers, especially with auto shotuguns and rotary cannons.
Imprint into them a sense of retaliatory vengeance, alongside a very strong sense of bonding. This is so that those they view as friends are their 'kindred', and those who harm their 'kin' are to be destroyed immediately. The Handler is always to be considered the most important bond in this dynamic.
Give them a mech with powerful armor, automatic weapons, and reactive fire sub-brains to allow the pilot to use multiples types of sensors and cams simultaneously, while minimizing strain.
Have the chassis and pilot rigged with autoinjector systems, with stims and stim-kill on standby at all times.
Establish strong bonds with the crew of your establishment. The Ursa must genuinely care for them for the programming to be effective, and it helps if the feeling is mutual. Having them set up with manual labor teams is a great, they fit right in. I'm totally not writing this out of bias, I think Ursas serve well on mech tech crews.
Enjoy!
Of course, this is a very simplified list, but you understand the point. An Ursa is designed for the sole purpose of defending its home, and anyone who dares cross it will be met with the wrath of an angry bear with miniguns and flak cannons.
Now, here's the downsides:
They are very clingy and emotional. They are designed to love and care, and as such, when in resting state, they can get very mood swingy. Emotional dampers are ill advised, as it tampers with programming and intent of design.
While in combat, it can take a while for them to 'spool down' from their battle rage, unlike a Hound which can snap back from it. Even a deactivation phrase takes a few minutes to kick in fully. Likely, this is a downside of the sub-brains feeding them a loop of combat data, keeping them in fight mode for longer.
Reactions to violence. Play fighting and roughhousing amongst kin is fine, but being genuinely assaulted by anyone will trigger an Ursa's activation. Yes, you heard me, they can trigger their own activation. As such, having a Handler on hand at all times is crucial to preventing gorings, meaning that Ursas require a lot of investment to maintain. Of course, the solution is simple, don't punch the fucking bears. And yet, people seem to keep making that mistake...
These particular subtypes are new, so much is still being discovered compared to say, Harpies, which are the oldest post-Hound subtype to be discovered and created.
This report may change as Handler Fist personally experiences what handling an Ursa is like, depending on if he goes through with his ideas.
As per usual, happy hunting, my fellow creatures!
Reblog if you're grateful for your internet friends
Iron Islander voice: Theon you [19 syllable dolphin noise slur] I see you came back WOKE and GAY and a WOMAN from us leaving you as a child prisoner to the guy with an 8 foot sword that makes you drag it around to executions in front of his screaming faced tree gods as a daily reminder that he can and will kill you (a child) just like he killed the rest of your family (some of which were also children). Did you have fun polishing his sword? I’ll bet. Did you write this letter yourself? Knowing there’s a one person literacy limit? Should we call you Theon the Reader, you reading fuck? And standing here in a jean jacket you bought yourself, may as well be sucking dick at old navy. You know who’s NOT woke or gay or a woman? Your sister Asha. Why can’t you be less gay and woke and a woman, like Asha? I bet she could run a democratic election because you know what isn’t gay Theon? Democracy
"Welcome to Imperial Tactics, where we have developed a new strategy for helping our pilots avoid cracking under pressure. Observe!"
Most stim blissed hound you've ever seen: "Awa..."
"Our pilots can't even think about cracking under enemy interrogation, if they can't even think to begin with! It's genius!" "Awa... I'm- I'm wuppy..."
"Oh shit it spoke. Time for another dose!"
All dogs go to heaven? Wrong! All dogs get into their mechs. Now. This isn't a request get the fuck in mutts.

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I'm sorry Kione fans I do not stand beside you. God's stupidest lesbian fighting his most winnable battles and still losing. I would not beat Jane Handler to death with my bare hands I would place her into the torment nexus for the rest of eternity.
Put Erebus, Kionne, Ye Wenjie, Ted Fero and Weiland in the Sci Fi list of "We fucked up humanity and our closest loved ones in service to far more evil parasites just because we were too inadequate to heed the obvious warning/solution and hated humanity due to our trauma"
See the problem with putting Erebus on there is that you are implying that he has 'trauma', or 'human emotions'.
That man was ploughing headlong into evil god worship not because he hates humanity or couldn't see the warning signs but because he loves being Evil and his lifelong ambition is to be A Villain.
I'm sorry Kione fans I do not stand beside you. God's stupidest lesbian fighting his most winnable battles and still losing. I would not beat Jane Handler to death with my bare hands I would place her into the torment nexus for the rest of eternity.