Gambitgrl

I’ve not been on this site for ages, but wanted to toss up my Kuroshitsuji fanfic I wrote on AO3, as it’s the only one I’ve done for this fandom and it came to me in a rush during a sick day from work back in September.I wrote most of it in 2 days, then spent the last few months reworking and editing it. I finished it last night. It’s dark, very dark, explicit for both sex and violence but also lush and opulent and I am actually quite proud of it. 50,000 words, hope your enjoy it.

When the demon’s lips first touched his young lord’s flesh and black tipped fingers slid along that young cheek, cool and smooth as marble, the demon mourned how dull his existence would become in the next moment. Yes, he would be sated, he would thrive on this soul for centuries, perhaps a millennia or more.

But...

Ciel Phantomhive’s existence would become mere footnote in the history of the world.

What a luminous little scribble he had been!

Three years ago Green Lantern the Animated Series was cancelled. But still the show and the amazing art it inspired still inspire me to this day.

Tumblr user AnthemofWar created this original design of Blue Lantern Razer after the show ended and the perfection of this design, how it incoporates the sharp edges of his Red Lantern uniform into this more rounded, softer and hopeful version, stuck with me for years after. 

My mother passed away suddenly and entirely unexpectedly in October 2016. My family has been completely gutted by it, as mom was the pivot around which all our lived turned.

A few weeks later I was an invited guest at a convention and felt I couldn’t back out, even though I didn’t think I was ready to do anything other than cry in bed and drag myself to my job. On the second day of the con I experienced what was probably a disassociative episode on the con floor. I became very confused and literally lost, something which has never happened before. Fortunately some friends found me wandering a walkway, kinda out of it, and took me back to my table where I could get my head together and finish out my obligations at the con.

I decided to step away from cosplay and conventions and all that for a while in order to focus on my family and the difficulty that would be the upcoming holidays. I was thinking that when (or if) I did it again I wanted to choose a character that meant a lot to me: someone that experienced incredible loss, was themselves lost for a while, but managed to find their way again by focusing on what mattered: who and what they loved in the here and now and use it as a way to remember those they lost.

So Razer. 

And his hope that one day the pain and anger would dimish, even if it will never leave entirely, and that those we loved once stay in our heart, evne as we move forward and allow ourselves to love and be loved by others in the future.