perhaps we are the instruments of ultimate good

2026 MIDTERMS

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ROWDY FUNTIMES

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BIG CHILLIN

Midnight in the woods. Heavily armed men are sprinting through the underbrush, always checking over their shoulder, desperately asking each other ‘do you see them?! are we clear?! where are they?!’

The reach a valley, almost a canyon surrounded by cliffs. There’s a helicopter, which they haul ass to because their lives depend on it. they unload their burden, a few red duffel bags full of contraband, and jump into the chopper screaming for the pilot to ‘go, go, go!’

They lift off. Five feet off the ground, ten, thirty, fifty. The men’s relief is palpable, laughing breathlessly and cheering that they got out, they made it, they’re in the clear!

Then.

Then.

One of the men glances to the side, then double takes.

Cocaine bear is sprinting along the cliff, eyes locked on the chopper, crashing through saplings as if they weren’t even there. The man starts screaming at the pilot, trying to warn him. It is too late.

Cocaine bear launches herself off the cliff. Just like when she leapt into the ambulance, slow mo, teeth bared and claws outstretched. She lands in the chopper, just barely, scrabbling on the edge while the men scream and start shooting. The bullets glance off her skull, leaving bloody scars over her scalp. One bullet manages to catch her in the eye, blinding her on one side. This only results in her being further enraged.

When she manages to get fully into the chopper, it is a deeply cinematic massacre. Like the intro to the first Deadpool movie, the vehicle spiraling out of control while its occupants are tossed around like rag dolls. And the whole time cocaine bear is tearing into everything she can catch in the chaos. Gutting people, tearing open duffels of coke. It’s like the ‘cocaine Christmas’ scene, slow motion while clouds of coke and splatters of blood drift by our dearest cocaine bear.

The helicopter spins, falls, crashes into the ground like a meteor. We watch the flames for a moment, then the camera pans back. We see the cubs, yearlings or more at this point, howling and bellowing for their mother. She does not respond. Cut to black.

happy mama's day + happy Black Fae Day!

Sports was never equal. Theres biological advantage somewhere in every sport in every match up. And studies have shown us that the biggest cause for an advantage is access. Access to facilities, access to equipment, access to coaches, etc.

It. It literally did. That was literally precisely the point.

Midnight in the woods. Heavily armed men are sprinting through the underbrush, always checking over their shoulder, desperately asking each other ‘do you see them?! are we clear?! where are they?!’

The reach a valley, almost a canyon surrounded by cliffs. There’s a helicopter, which they haul ass to because their lives depend on it. they unload their burden, a few red duffel bags full of contraband, and jump into the chopper screaming for the pilot to ‘go, go, go!’

They lift off. Five feet off the ground, ten, thirty, fifty. The men’s relief is palpable, laughing breathlessly and cheering that they got out, they made it, they’re in the clear!

Then.

Then.

One of the men glances to the side, then double takes.

Cocaine bear is sprinting along the cliff, eyes locked on the chopper, crashing through saplings as if they weren’t even there. The man starts screaming at the pilot, trying to warn him. It is too late.

Cocaine bear launches herself off the cliff. Just like when she leapt into the ambulance, slow mo, teeth bared and claws outstretched. She lands in the chopper, just barely, scrabbling on the edge while the men scream and start shooting. The bullets glance off her skull, leaving bloody scars over her scalp. One bullet manages to catch her in the eye, blinding her on one side. This only results in her being further enraged.

When she manages to get fully into the chopper, it is a deeply cinematic massacre. Like the intro to the first Deadpool movie, the vehicle spiraling out of control while its occupants are tossed around like rag dolls. And the whole time cocaine bear is tearing into everything she can catch in the chaos. Gutting people, tearing open duffels of coke. It’s like the ‘cocaine Christmas’ scene, slow motion while clouds of coke and splatters of blood drift by our dearest cocaine bear.

The helicopter spins, falls, crashes into the ground like a meteor. We watch the flames for a moment, then the camera pans back. We see the cubs, yearlings or more at this point, howling and bellowing for their mother. She does not respond. Cut to black.

Midnight in the woods. Heavily armed men are sprinting through the underbrush, always checking over their shoulder, desperately asking each other ‘do you see them?! are we clear?! where are they?!’

The reach a valley, almost a canyon surrounded by cliffs. There’s a helicopter, which they haul ass to because their lives depend on it. they unload their burden, a few red duffel bags full of contraband, and jump into the chopper screaming for the pilot to ‘go, go, go!’

They lift off. Five feet off the ground, ten, thirty, fifty. The men’s relief is palpable, laughing breathlessly and cheering that they got out, they made it, they’re in the clear!

Then.

Then.

One of the men glances to the side, then double takes.

Cocaine bear is sprinting along the cliff, eyes locked on the chopper, crashing through saplings as if they weren’t even there. The man starts screaming at the pilot, trying to warn him. It is too late.

Cocaine bear launches herself off the cliff. Just like when she leapt into the ambulance, slow mo, teeth bared and claws outstretched. She lands in the chopper, just barely, scrabbling on the edge while the men scream and start shooting. The bullets glance off her skull, leaving bloody scars over her scalp. One bullet manages to catch her in the eye, blinding her on one side. This only results in her being further enraged.

When she manages to get fully into the chopper, it is a deeply cinematic massacre. Like the intro to the first Deadpool movie, the vehicle spiraling out of control while its occupants are tossed around like rag dolls. And the whole time cocaine bear is tearing into everything she can catch in the chaos. Gutting people, tearing open duffels of coke. It’s like the ‘cocaine Christmas’ scene, slow motion while clouds of coke and splatters of blood drift by our dearest cocaine bear.

The helicopter spins, falls, crashes into the ground like a meteor. We watch the flames for a moment, then the camera pans back. We see the cubs, yearlings or more at this point, howling and bellowing for their mother. She does not respond. Cut to black.