Just A Stupid Motherfucker, Can't Figure It Out

Phone: Please leave a message after the tone

Alexis: fuck!

Alexis: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story and the horrible shit you did to me, and I’d like to-

Mom: you lied.

Alexis: stop!

Mom: you lied!

Alexis: stop it! *cries* stop dammit!!

Alexis: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. There’s many things I read in here that were false. Like you saying that I wore 6-inch Loubotins to court with my tweed skirt when I wore 4-inch little brown Bebe shoes.

Mom: 29 dollars!

Alexis: EVERY TIME YOU FUCKING YELL I HAVE TO RE-RECORD IT!!

Alexis: Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story and the way that you turned on me when I’m going through such a hard time in my life. I opened up to you so that way the world could potentially know what a great, amazing, talented, strong, healthy girl that I am. Not even a girl. Young woman. *cries* I am petrified…petrified with this story.

Mom: *sighs*

Alexis: I am so disappointed and I’m letting you know that I will clear this up. Have a nice life. Goodbye.

Mom: *sobbing* That was beautiful, you did such a good job expressing yourself.

dress code to my funeral

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!!