Meep Meep Motherfucker

microdosing hell by being awake and literate

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

Do kids today even understand why podcasts are called podcasts?

Well, you see, kids, almost twenty years ago Apple produced a portable audio player called – wait, I need to go back further.

Okay, so in the 20th century, the new inventions of radio and television were known as broadcast media – no, wait, that’s not really the start either –

Broadcasting originally refers to throwing, or casting, handfuls of seeds onto prepared ground, typically used with grain crops, which, uh –

– the Agrucultural Revoution, which begain circa 10,000 BC in the Levant, was when humans began preserving seeds for replanting –

The worst thing about seeing a movie on opening day is that you have to wait for the entire rest of the world to see it before you see any relevant media.

my favorite thing about james ortiz is that he looks like how i'd imagine rocky as a human. if you put him in a lineup with 20 other people and told me to find the guy who does puppets for a living, i'd zero in on him immediately. truly the puppeteer of all time