It's long overdue that I update my Commission prices, in time for the New Year!
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@matthewonart
It's long overdue that I update my Commission prices, in time for the New Year!
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out
splish splash
Beavis and Butthead’s adventures in becoming local convention scourges
this sleeper tweet

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Bronzed Cowbird (Molothrus aeneus), 2 males having an intense discussion, family Icteridae, order Passeriformes, Mesa, AZ, USA
photograph by Dave Lehneman
Curious to your thoughts on the tarot
buncha cards innit
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
They’re fucking. Ice Elementals.
So it’s very likely they diverged from other Sleeper Shark lineages during one of the Pleistocene ice ages, when thickening polar ice would have trapped certain populations in perpetual icy darkness for thousands of years. These are the descendants of the survivors of that.
Their flesh is toxic for numerous biomechanical reasons that directly relate to their ability to not only survive but thrive in waters that would literally freeze you or I solid.
Urea and Trimethylamine-N-Oxide
The Greenland shark accomplishes this using first concentrated Urea, which is a natural antifreeze and depresses the freezing point of the shark’s fluids; and TMAO, which stabilizes proteins against denaturation, both from the concentrated Urea and the crushing pressure of the deep.
Additionally, the Greenland Shark has 3 distinct Hemoglobin complexes in its blood, 2 of which are apparently specifically adapted to be unaffected by the high antifreeze concentrations. More research is needed here.
{anecdotally; once pulled from the water by fishermen, the shark allegedly persists thrashing and fighting for far longer than any other fish, and there are stories of the flesh itself continuing to twitch and move long after its apparent death, as the creature is butchered}
Their longevity is partially enabled by a highly derived genome: it is comprised largely of transposable elements, also known as “jumping genes,” which normally cause organisms to be more prone to Cancers, but, are also capable of self-replication; and amongst these, we have already identified over 80 discrete gene sequences dedicated specifically to DNA repair.
They’re viviparous, and the female reproductive systems are quite complex, including a system of villi to deliver oxygen to the developing pups. The variability in gestation time remains subject of ongoing study: how is this accomplished? What triggers it? Many questions; fewer answers.
Truly a remarkable and magical Beast of the lightless depths. It is an honor and a privilege to share this wet rock with you all 🫡
These tags made me laugh:
Literally!
Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry.
"Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry."
It fucking better.
Like to charge, reblog to cast?

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Thanks for sexualizing peoples trauma fuckhead
anytime
Me this weekend
Fun Fact:
nuh-uh
the shitstains at youtube memoryhole’d propane genesis evangelion but I had already downloaded it because I know youtube is full of absolute cunts so here it is
ok i hate to do this but you might've seen a touch of my recent behavior. i would like to have a bit better control of that sort of thing, which means i have to ask for help. i am struggling to attend work and it's having a dire effect in my funds. i am being harassed by my parents and would like to achieve financial independence after recovering from years of constant abuse. i apologize for laying this out so raw but i also must ask for a bit of help in affording the medication that will allow me to work a normal 40 hour week and not need to ask further. a buck or two means a lot and i'll gladly draw you something.
thank you dearly.
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today, a severe thursday watch will be in place.
remember everyone...
thursday watch: the conditions for thursday are here, but a thursday incident has not yet been confirmed
thursday warning: thursday has arrived
I will regret this and shouldn't make wheels at 2am but
This tumblr sexyman is your son!
Are you proud of him
yes!
somewhat
I shouldn't be but yes
No
NO.
I'm disowning him
I am scared of him
Results
(sorry if your favourite is not in this poll, I went mostly off the contenders from this year's poll and the classics)