🪦⛓

wish i was cute and also not an absolute fucking idiot

breakfastless behavior

I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

39

38

37

THATS it. NO wet food for a MONTH

I’ve had enough btw

Babygirl I’m popping joints that paleontologists don’t even know about

No, fuck. Chiropractors

Yo mama so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist

will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake

so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type

There is a small child in this cafe writhing and screaming with such violence and rage that they keep running out of breath and coughing. The source of her rage? Her mom asked her to eat a single grape.