fuck you pay me

If you’re new and insistent upon beginning sex work at this time, then yes. Advertisements, social media, and content creation is what you should depend on.

It is not an ideal time to begin. A hard field to enter.

Many time wasters, many manipulators, and many dangerous clients who hope to exploit your time, body, and energy are out and about. They hope you’re desperate enough for money that they can take advantage of you.

I may sincerely question anyone’s logic if they choose to enter at this time. I see more and more escorts retiring every week.

Moreover, a second wave and flu season are approaching in the upcoming months. Unless you have a civilian career you depend upon, while only accepting extended and limited bookings, I would not recommend beginning.

Most escorts are depending on their already existing client base. Many have already temporarily retired, either depending on a few clients to take care of their needs or focusing on a separate career. The sex workers who saw where the pandemic was heading and wanted security, already sought an exclusivity proposal with a client or sponsor.

I actually found myself taking down some adverts and generally making myself less accessible because time wasters are out at full force now that they’re stuck at home with not much better to do.

I’ve done exactly what asiansiren said here, getting my most loyal client to cover my bills and focusing on my other gigs.

SW wise I’m taking this time to reassess, re-strategize, work on myself and my brand so when the situation does become more normal (I kinda doubt that things will ever fully go back to how it used to be) I can emerge as an improved version.

Most women simply don’t have the social capital for sponsorship.

They’re not even remotely close to that point.

If you’re at the baseline of struggling to pay your rent, pay your debt, pay for your car, and other day-to-day necessities, you’re not ready. If you don’t have savings and a steady stream of income, you’re not ready.

If this applies ... I would highly advise you not to go leaping forward for a man to fund your lifestyle, in the offhand chance that you do get that opportunity, as you’ll most likely take a number of unsavory risks and place yourself in danger.

Sponsorship is highly calculated, more of assuaging your leverage and trading upon the social “value” you create.

In the meantime, let us also dispel of the useless and embarrassing term of “sugar”, which is a long-gone and dead industry that died over a decade ago. It is the most commercially well-known term ... but also the most repelling one, and no one with genuine status will ever use such a term.

Yes, at one point, it meant something, but now it refers to the selling of sex at rates that no entry-level escort would accept, and the extreme violation of women’s boundaries - no screening, no protection, nothing worthwhile. Hustling backwards, truly. Those who remain in the field are far behind, and then wonder why they cannot get ahead. They don’t know what they’re talking about. It is embarrassing.

Let’s leave it behind, in the past, where it belongs.

*As an affidavit, I separate this term completely with the role of being a kept woman, which I consider legitimate.

Now, when you discuss sponsorship, there are two, exactly two, different means of acquiring it.

The first, and the most common, is by escorting.

Why...? Escorting equates to fast money, not easy money, but fast money, that would otherwise be impossible to acquire.

Most of the women I know who became set for life off of sex work, did so initially by escorting, and through this, they were capable of surviving. Nothing fancy, but working as an entry-level or mid-range escort. Paying off their basic necessities, paying off their rent, and then, excess income - they saved $1,000, $5,000, $10,000.

Then you upgrade your appearance, your branding, your persona, and through that, you see immediate results - a higher income. Your skin becomes clearer, you dress better, perhaps you purchase some luxury brands, perhaps you get Invisalign for straighter teeth. Maybe a breast augmentation, a fat transfer. You save more money, get better credit, advance yourself further.

Escorting, when done right, can be like a modern finishing school, since very few industries are so focused on the illusion of status, class, and wealth. Superficial, yes, but doesn’t this occur everywhere ..?

After you cover the basics, your necessities, what you require to survive, then you may contemplate where you wish to go further.

Many women who escort don’t wish for a sponsor, after seeing the often repulsive underbelly of sex work. Instead, they choose to save as much as possible, exit, and pursue genuine independence after having acquired what they needed. Inevitably, a significant portion of sponsors are manipulators in disguise, so question whether you look at things with rose-colored glasses.

But those that do find themselves orienting towards sex work permanently, most often find a sponsor through an escorting client.

After a certain point - if you pay enough attention to your brand, to what attracts clientele to you, to what your most authentic self is - then you should narrow down the appropriate steps to create a close connection with a client or two or three, and they begin to find your lifestyle. They book multiple hours; they book overnights; they give you gifts; they fly you out. Without a word spoken, they provide for you without you having to see them; there is the implication that something beyond the regular appointment exists. The social capital you created through your escorting persona is now translated into something tangible, and you can see it before your eyes.

It doesn’t have to happen immediately... but at a certain point after inundating yourself in the lifestyle, you should be at a point to choose. And you just need one ... that’s all you need. Your “sponsor.”

The second way ... is by being kept.

Certain industries naturally position women to this: freelancing, modeling, acting, entrepreneurship, socialites ... even climbing the corporate ladder, but ultimately, this requires you to firstly, have some access to resources, whether through your agency, corporation, or business, and secondly, to have some ultimate goal to which the sponsor can contribute.

It can be referred to also as dating, but that is not always the case — but what always applies is that men who have made something of themselves will gladly expand resources for a woman they deem worthwhile, for a cause they also deem worthwhile. You play a role that they may sympathize with, and it often is centered on your attractiveness and availability, but it is not escorting and is not quite as rigid as what was described above.

This is more loose-ended and more organic, but also tends to take more time — a few commonplace examples to provide you with some inspiration ...

A model signed to Ford is brought to an after party at a popular nightclub by a promoter she knows, where foreign real estate investors congregate. One of the investors strikes up a conversation with her, they exchange socials, and eventually, she begins dating him - and he funds her lavish lifestyle.

An nanotechnology startup founder searches for recognition in Silicon Valley; in an offhand invitation to a private members club in San Francisco, she encounters a member of the board of directors of a prominent venture capital firm. They strike up a conversation over her aspiring career, and they begin to date. He pays her rent and gives her gifts, he brings her to increasingly exclusive events, and he introduces her to other well-known venture capitalists. She secures seed financing for her up and coming company.

An aspiring socialite centered in London, by the advice of her much wealthier girlfriends, begins to regularly attend 5 Hertford Street and Annabel’s in search of connections. A friend introduces her to a regular attendee, a wealthy, married banker seeking a mistress. They begin to see each other regularly. Skilled in networking, she begins a career as a social media influencer; she begins a clothing brand by an investment gifted to her by the banker.

And I could go on and on, with a million more examples and greater intricacy. For the sake of brevity and clarity, however, I will not.

Now you see here, the importance is less in the way you look, and more in the demonstration of class-based assimilation, and with it, an overall purpose that is status-appropriate. And as always, of course, an exchange of value.