i don't do bad sauce passes

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taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess
trying on a metaphor

JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always
🪼
NASA
h
Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH
cherry valley forever

Product Placement
Stranger Things
Not today Justin
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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@frostysquid

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New Zealand Longfin Eel
(source)
I really felt this tag
this is one of my favorite onion articles because it is so real
like the premise seems so absurd but then you start to read it and
Gibson’s descent into the depths of mustard obsession started innocently enough, when he got involved in an Internet exchange about the best kind of mustard to use on a grilled bratwurst. When someone posted a link encouraging him to “click on this if you really want to spice things up,” he took the stranger’s advice and suddenly found himself on MustardMonster.com, a discussion group devoted to the cultivation, preparation, and enjoyment of the table-side condiment.
“I immediately realized I was out of my league,” Gibson said of his first encounter with the Internet’s do-it-yourself mustard community. “At that point I had maybe three different kinds of mustard in my refrigerator, but when I looked at their forum topics, these guys were talking about the strengths of unique varieties of imported mustard seeds, brewing your own vinegar for mustard-making, ways to improve store-bought mustard when you find yourself in a pinch. That…that was the start of what I now call my ‘lost year.’”
It was only when Gibson started getting angry, even enraged, by mustard-related issues that he started realize he had become entangled in a dense, thickening web of mustard obsession.
“I saw my wife putting French’s mustard on a bologna sandwich for our 5-year-old son, and I just lost control,” Gibson said. “I said things—awful things that I’m not proud of—and the two of them were clearly shaken. I can never take those words back. When I looked in the mirror and barely recognized that livid face staring back at me, I finally understood that these mustard people weren’t really my friends.”
i know that this is a satire of online radicalism regarding more serious subjects like racism or feminism, i know that
but
i also know that there are people with attitudes about hot sauce exactly like this and just from the way this is written i think that the author doesn’t know that
this article was written in 2010 so it is not actually about Q-anon or the youtube radicalization pipeline via metaphor
as the many people who’ve reblogged this to comment on their own mustard journeys can attest, this is just what having a hobby on the internet is like
they took vine from us
sad apes in the jungle discussing deforestation
the dogs wouldn’t stop getting in my dads gross chair so he carved this weird sculpture of his own frowning face with a chainsaw and puts it on the chair when he’s not sitting in it. the dogs are scared of it

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besties... ATTACK!!!
caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room
caramel frappe PLEASE
#this art is so evocative. it feels like a goya painting
thank you so much this is the highest compliment
Innocence …
You laugh while he's STARVING! 😭

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"autism be damned my kid can work a grill" reminds me of this time my therapist told me he met a little girl who's special interest was deep fryers
I love autistic people
jessy we have to fucking!!!!!!
Boy Where Me God Damn Body Warsh Is
Neil banging out the tunes April 13th 2006

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i've never given a blowjob that didn't have themes and motifs and the like. i take pride in that.
taking my pet bacterium to the vet (broken flagella) and they put him under a microscope to put a tiny cone on him