"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff

i need to clip through the floor like bethesda made me

I love how Tumblr talks about gender as though it’s a substance of which it’s possible to possess a particular amount. Just a dash of gender. The recipe calls for three cups of gender. An overturned tanker truck on the #3 highway has spilled 20 000 litres of gender.

that is the face of a man that says “If i don’t hold the baby he is going to do terrible shenanigans to the camera setup before the plates develop”

this man has seen his donkey do THINGS

I love when dogs and cats just let you pat the shit out of them and they enjoy it so much. Like yeah dude real quick I just need to play you like a bongo and they’re like god yes I’ve been waiting for someone to play me like a bongo

every day i look at the sink and i’m like seriously? honest to god i have used dishes once again?

this post is not for people frustrated by ppl putting dishes in their communal sink bc “oh i would NEVER leave a dish in the sink.” fuck off you already have your life together you don’t need this post. this is for the slimes and losers whose sinks are filled with the dishes of their own creation. this is for the lazy women, the useless men, the pathetic enbies. get out of here you sparkling clean dished heathens

When I grow up I wanna be upper middle class.

I want like… a condo. And enough money to go on vacation sometimes. And maybe a mug.

Maybe I’m tired of going to thrift stores for mugs. Maybe I’m tired of the $5 target mugs. Maybe I want a really nice mug. Not like five hundred nice mugs. Just like… one or two would be nice. You know? Maybe I’d hang one on my wall. I think I’d like that. Owning a wall.

Again, people are misunderstanding my actual desires represented by the mug.

Every time we go into a Big Fancy Houseware shop just to browse, I stare wistful at the mugs. “We have enough mugs” I will say. But I know I my heart that all the mugs at home are mismatched and old, or secret Santa gifts from across the years. None of them have been purchased solely for the joy of buying a fancy new mug.

I made this post over a year ago now and inevitably whenever it gains more traction someone will pop up completely misunderstanding me, not understanding that I’d just like to be comfortable. I don’t actually want advice on how to acquire mugs. I own a couple of mugs. I’d just like to be able to have some security. Maybe a pool. Maybe I’d like to own a small amount of property. A condo, maybe. I’d like to be able to travel. You’ll notice that nobody here is giving advice on how to acquire a condo or a vacation. They’re just taking the mug part seriously. All I wanted to do was fantasize about a world where I don’t live in a studio apartment that takes up half of my paycheck in rent alone and maybe I have a stupid white dad device mounted on the wall to showcase my mug collection. Can everyone just shut the hell up about telling me how to acquire mugs? I don’t care about the traps of consumerism! I just wanna be able to afford to visit my aunts sometimes! And so what if I do want an expensive mug? That’s my goddamn business.

This is a perfect summary of what it’s like for try to communicate any idea that can’t fit neatly into a single sentence on Tumblr Dot Com.

Those “curtains were just blue” memes did irreparable damage to society.

this... makes a very good point.

According to ongoing studies into happiness in the psych department at Berkeley, making yourself happy by making other people happy is how it’s meant to work

I feel like this is such a common idea, and I just want to extrapolate it to its logical conclusion. If it is wrong to make others happy or do objectively charitable things when it also makes you happy, then in this moral model, you are MEANT to be miserable. Not only is your own happiness weighted negatively, it’s given such a large weight that your unhappiness is more important than the happiness of many others. So the most moral thing anyone can do is actively make themselves unhappy, with no regard for anyone else. That is… not a world I want to live in.

It's ass backwards is what it is.