Frezez

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

i can handle one (1) Event™ per day. whether it be a phone call, an appointment, trip to the grocery store, play date with a friend, etc. only one, that's it. any more than that and i am Stressed

"Friends with benefits" and the benefit is being my friend :)

We can also fuck nasty or whatever

the potion seller discourse is insane. cop walks into a chemist's lab and demands pure undiluted morphine. chemist says hey i don't make this for human consumption. cop insists repeatedly, crying, shitting himself. in no way is the potion seller in the wrong here.

No, see, he's an asshole for not giving the cop the potion to kill himself with.

See i would absolutely agree with this take but being directly responsible for killing the Knight would tarnish the Potion Seller's name across the kingdom. + the Knight is insisting he's going to die in battle anyways.

I once made a potion that kills you but the undying one drank it and lived and it ruined my reptutation so now i'm forced to weave small coats for beetle grubs. i cant complain the beetles have good money but now whenever im spotted on the street the peasants mock me and call me beetleboy

hi beetleboy LOL hows your beetles. loser

@toenailsnakes

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

everything's fine and everyone thinks you're hot

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

When will the violence end