Fresh Grated Nutmeg

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

we used to turn the tv on and just watch whatever was on there

Yes, it was frequently The Simpsons.

My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”

This is such a good idea and I can't believe I've never seen anybody say anything about it before. I recommend jigsaw puzzles and cross stitch. I thought my eyesight was too bad for cross stitch but then I bought a pair of cheap 3x magnification glasses from Walmart and they're even more helpful than my prescription pair.

i'm pregnant and its baseball

'Fever' is the worst SV episode so far. What a nonsensical bland mess!

If kryptonite in the ground caused that kind of illness the whole town would have dropped dead by now because that shit is everywhere in this show.

Martha says the spaceship got her pregnant and Jonathan's first thought is it must have healed her womb rather than that he got cucked by an alien spacecraft.

my ability to take this 🫢 emoji seriously has been obliterated by that one image

this fic is so good i hope i write it