Hang on

Day 180 since Craig moved in. he clearly thinks he’s dating one of us but we can’t figure out who. it’s possible one of us is lying about it for some reason but so far our efforts at inquisition has led nowhere. we would kick him out but he’s been doing the dishes for us. we’ve decided that for the sanity of the polycule we’ll keep up the charade. if all of us continue to be flirty with him, he’ll project his attraction onto whoever the hell he thinks is into him. this house of cards is delicate but necessary

It got funnier

This is how cats domesticated themselves

guy at the gym asked if he could take some plates from my side of the racks and i said quite self deprecating "yeah go for it. i can't even lift that" and he gave me a massive smile and said "don't worry. you will" like omg so true. I can't do it yet but I will....

just because you can't do it yet doesn't mean you never will

Shit I would do if I was a Stand user

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

takes a real artist to go "i have to deface this billboard promoting an evil corporation's evil product. but crucially☝️the typeface and kerning must match or else it's cringe"

If you make it look official, people will leave it up. I knew someone who replaced all the motivational posters at work with 'demotivation' versions and corp didnt notice for like 2 years.

That's a pterosaur,

ok i regret not unmuting this earlier

the wailing phantom

The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season

THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP

COOKIES ACQUIRED

how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes

Oh my god it’s back

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP