Girl Uncle

so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

it honestly feels good as hell to take medicine

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

i say yay outloud too like this isn't just my internet persona this is real me

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

people who do a PhD are running from something

Yeah it’s called a 9-to-5

(confidently) undertale is a website

We have so little time

let's waste as much of it as we can while we still can

I really am just living for the hope of it all

When they torture u to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂😂😂