Crusin' for a Foozin'

I enjoy a joke about fucked up German fairy tales as much as the next nerd, but it's genuinely striking how often the source for the really fucked up stuff turns out to be "yeah, this is only in the Brothers Grimm version and doesn't appear in any extant oral tradition, and we're like 80% sure they added it themselves". To a large extent it's not German fairy tales that are fucked up, it's two specific German dudes.

in retrospect we probably should have given the fairy tale writing to the Brothers Happy instead

This is a really fantastic return to form for this genre of post. In recent years there's been less and less effort put into this vital aspect of internet culture, it's nice to see a return to the truly artisanal work of the late 00s.

Now THIS is what the internet exists for. I was LOCKED IN the whole time.

shower gel label:  immerse your self in this new   “Me Time” luxury   fruity tooty.    abandon all sense of identity and dissolve  Your memories into this   soothing chemical broth    One billion melons are in this tube… use them wisely

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

THE ORIGINAL??

#I'm a millenial and I have caught myself saying things#it can and will happen to you#the trick is to notice#the trick it to keep being curious#the trick is to resist calcifying your brain#keep thinking and keep moving#nothing made by humans is perfect#we can always improve#that perfect plan you thought would fix it all when you were 20#will age like everything else#and the goalposts do move because there will always be bad actors#reinventing all the old evils so they look new and harmless again

"this movie doesn't hold up bcos of dated special effects :(" to you, maybe. i would clap at a bat on a string

reblogs are back on for october! limited edition

RB if you think CD drives in computers are not obsolete, but in fact still necessary, despite being artificially phased out

perhaps as a general rule of thumb you should try to live your life in such a way that the whole world doesn’t immediately start celebrating like the ewoks at the end of Star Wars when you get brutally murdered on live TV