oops here I am

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

Theyre called draculas because they drank u. La

Did anyone else hear just one single angelic note

the angelic note is playing at your dashboards resonant frequency. shaking its miserable posts apart

can I make a confession that might get me in trouble

i haaate when ppl are talking abt mammal colouration and they bring up mandrills but not vervet monkeys.... fake fans

ME: hold up. you see that? train's been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they're not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it'll come back, then ME: don't be so sure. That's well within their lifespan... and they're highly territorial

Behold! The printing titty!

I normally tag these posts “specific ass machines” after a minor meme that blew through Tumblr, but I was tempted to tag this one “specific boob machines”.

disappearing into the bathroom at the club only to reappear covered in decorative printing patterns followed by a 10ft lady wearing bowls as a bra

Hamsterdam

Kontent

Theres no fukin betterer way zum flyen.

in honor of tipping being removed, shoutout to one of the funniest interactions i've ever had on here

sometimes i agree with a post but i dont like your attitude

The feared sting-ray

SNUG RAY

Strapon-wearing Austin Powers: There's nothing micro about this plastic, baby!

You could easily reboot Austin Powers in the 2020s by having Austin be re-frozen for another 30 years and wake up in the present.

Austin Powers: You Only Freeze Twice

Dr. Evil is President Evil now, with an obvious wig.

Plot twist: she's his daughter.

It's extremely obvious to everyone except the two of them until the climax of the movie, when they have their emotional father-daughter reunion while the other characters are exasperated.