Just a Sydney Girl

“you don’t have to sacrifice yourself in order to be loved” ~christieinge.com

“I mean I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure the dude making you cry every day isn’t your soulmate” ~unknown

“A soft reminder -- Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry” ~Juansen Dizon

“can we dead the idea that ‘no one will love you until you love yourself’ when it’s more like if you don’t recognize your own value you’re more likely to endure mistreatment that you don’t deserve” ~@afrhoes

“stop shrinking yourself to fit places you’ve outgrown” ~unknown

“Do not question an old love, a done love. Don’t touch it, search through it, rip it apart. Let it be what it was and put it away somewhere untouched. And then walk away from it into your own life. Let it hurt. Until it doesn’t.” ~unknown

“don’t light yourself on fire trying to brighten someone else’s existence” ~whisper

“Your relationship should be your place of peace...It should be the place where all armour comes off, egos are humbled and transparency reigns supreme” ~Rachel L

Golden Autumn leaves

Sunshine

rollerblading on campus

green grass and pavement 

letters from you

Molasses Cookies

they say “it was worth the wait”and I mean, yes, absolutely, it is 100% worth the wait, but the fact is, the wait is HARD, and when you’re waiting, you’re not only waiting, you’re worrying hoping that the wait isn’t in vain, and that’s the hard part. its not the time thats hard. its the worry and fear that you’re waiting for something that’ll never happen. if you told someone that 100% they’d find their person by 25, it would be a lot easier. its not the wait thats hard, its the uncertainty, the worry that you’re not good enough, and if you’re not worried about that you’re worried that the kind of person you’re looking for doesn’t exist. that’s what’s hard, and being told, “yeah i waited a long time but it was worth it” doesn’t take away the fear and uncertainty. “well I waited a long time, you’re only…[insert age]” doesn’t help. if it was assured, the wait would be easy. you’d simply fill your life with other stuff and stop worrying about it, always knowing that it’ll be okay. and that’s the best advice i can give to someone who is waiting: live your life as if you’re promised it’ll happen. its better than worrying, and it means you’ll enjoy your singleness, and you’ll be a more interesting person for it.  also, a friend told me: the person you marry has such a big impact on the rest of your life, its too big a thing for God not to be involved. so He will be. you don’t have to be afraid that he won’t be, or that he won’t hear you. and never settle! thats another thing that people say a lot, and let me tell you, it’s true. however: its also overused and cliche and hard to listen to or take seriously. so heres some explanation:

if you settle, you’ll always have the nagging feeling of, “what if i’d waited just that little bit longer…"

this is literally gluing your life to another person for the rest of your life. you want to be 100% sure. this is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. you GET to be picky

dating sucks if it's the wrong person. you’re constantly worried, disappointed, anxious.

the person has to feel right, otherwise you’ll always be dissatisfied and be questioning

things can go badly badly wrong if you settle for someone who you deep down know you shouldn’t.

1. Don’t overload your first semester. Starting college is a huge transition and you will likely be more tired than you would be otherwise because you are trying to adjust. Also, college classes go at a different pace than high school, so while taking 4 classes may not sound like much, it has the potential to kill you if you’re not careful

2. Don’t worry if you feel overwhelmed and lonely. First semester sucks for pretty much everyone. It takes a while to find the type of people you can connect with. 

3. Start or join a small group. I’m speaking from my experience as a Christian, but this applies to other religions/groups as well. Second semester I started a Bible study for girls with an acquaintance, not only did it provide a weekly spiritual re-centering, the intimate atmosphere of praying, talking and studying the Bible together led to some of the closest friendship I had.

4. Even if you feel insecure, reach out to people. Likely, they’re wishing someone would reach out to them as much as you. Most of the time, people will not find you annoying for initiating conversations or suggesting hang outs. Get to know people in your classes. Even if it’s just the person sitting next to you. Even if they don’t end up being a close friend, it’s really nice to have at least one familiar person with you.Go to events. It will be scary. You will not know people. You may be miserable. You may come away having met or made friends with no one. But eventually, you will start to recognize people. And even that is valuable when you don’t know anyone. It helps you feel a lot less lost.

5. Stay out of relationships until you have a solid girlfriend base. Let’s be real, relationships don’t always succeed, and not having a good support group can make a break up a hundred times worth.Don’t be afraid to drift from your high school friends, but also don’t cut them off. It’s good to explore new friendships, but high school friends can be dependable, long term friends that can be there for you in the absence of new friendships. 

6. Confidence and kindness go a long way in making friends. If you are confident and kind, it is safe to assume assume that people like you.

7. Don’t neglect your spiritual life. It’s so easy to do when you’re so busy, but finding a church community can be a great source of community. Connecting with God can help a lot with loneliness and fear.

8. Don’t stay up too late even tho you have the freedom to do so. IT’S NOT WORTH IT! Getting enough sleep will help with avoiding the freshman 15, help you do better in classes and overall make you feel better.

0 - The Leap this is when you take the plunge and let yourself begin to fall. 

1 - Falling This is the honeymoon phase everyone talks about. Includes giddiness, constant excitement, dreaminess, drawing hearts everywhere, smiling all the time. There’s also a fair amount of anxiety as you aren’t sure yet if it’s right. This is especially true if you’ve been hurt before. 

2 - Sinking This is when the crazy giddiness starts to wear off. You’re still falling, but more slowly, there’s more substance, and a warmth and peace starts to grow around your relationship. 

3 - Digging You find yourself on solid ground. All the low hanging fruit of getting to know each other is gone, to get deeper you have to really dig into who they are, ask deep questions, have big conversations. It takes effort, but it’s worth it. Deep friendship starts to form. It’s more work, but the reward is also greater.

4 - Building You have become each others’ best friends. You know each other SO WELL. You start working as a team, creating, planning, making memories, establishing relational and life habits and having experiences. What you build now will become the foundation for a life together into the future. 

you also have a coffee maker.

your friend comes over a lot, but they keep talking about your coffee maker. every time, they tell you about how awesome your coffee maker is. they think its a compliment. they hint about how they want  you to make coffee for them. sometimes they even come into your house to make themselves coffee. though they assure you it’s you they like, they never spend any time more than necessary getting to know you and spending time with you. it doesn’t take too long for you to realize that they don’t actually like you, they just like your coffee. 

The ad was speaking against sexual and verbal harassment as well as bullying and aggression. How is it possible to be offended by that? those are real issues being faced in the world, and responding immediately with "but not all men are like that, I’m certainly not" is denying the fact that gender violence happens, that it is NORMAL for women to be treated like dirt by men, that guys have a responsibility to call out other guys behaving this way. it is denying women the ability to speak out about what has happened to them because they get attacked for it. nowhere in the ad did it say that all men are like that. no one actually thinks all men are, but it’s enough that girls are afraid to walk alone at night (even on christian college campuses), afraid to even make eye contact with guys in public. it's enough men to make women afraid to say no to sex on the basis that they might be KILLED, enough that I have TWO close friends who have been raped, and that every woman I know including myself have been harassed.  There are legitimate reasons for those fears. and responding to "men can do better" with "not all men" is completely invalidating the fact that THERE IS A PROBLEM. as one twitter user @RebeccaCNReid said at one time, it's like someone calling 911 to report a robbery  and the operator responding with "not all people are robbers, I would certainly never rob you". women are constantly being told that they are not good enough, for their looks, personality, emotions, bodies, faces, strengths, weaknesses, everything. When an ad is released that addresses a legit social concern, the correct response is NOT getting upset about “generalizations”. The fact that that women still get raped by men at a much  MUCH higher rate than men are by women is enough to justify saying “men, do better”.