tandem memorandum

Her character arc, ever since she drifts off completely from Phos, is quite interesting, as it shows how she deals with the loss of the one hope she was tied to ever since the story started—and the choice she makes as a result.

Unfulfilled Promise

For half the story, Cinnabar is tied to Phos’ promise, to the possibility of him finding a job for her. And everytime, Phos disappoints her—everytime, Phos shows a complete lack of care for the weight of the promise he made, and, by extent, a lack of care for Cinnabar herself, it eats away a little bit more of her soul. 

Cinnabar is used to waiting. She's been waiting hundreds of years to be taken away. In a way, you could say she's laser focused on a single idea—her death. Phos changes this for hope, the hope of connecting with someone, of sharing her life and existence with her.

But that dream is met with crushing disappointment.

I think the reason Cinnabar rejects Phos is quite apparent for everyone who's read the manga, but just in case, it's because Phos changed. Phos turned increasingly manipulative, cunning and started to bottle up more and more—she became discreet and rational, just like Cinnabar, and that's the opposite of what she needed.

She needed someone fun, not someone practical.

She needed someone sincere, not someone two-faced and manipulative.

She needed Phos, not a reason or a job.

Of course, the failure of their relationship also has to do with Cinnabar's lack of communication. It's because both closed off their hearts that in the end all that they become to each other is a reason, a memory, not a person.

Because a real connection takes effort and real empathy—to truly put yourself in another's place and try to understand how they see and feel the world, something that every gem utterly fails at due to being too self-absorbed and caught in their own insecurities and problems to reach out to another. This is especially true for Phos, who, as the story advances, actually becomes more and more insecure, and thus, more self-absorbed, compared to the selfless Phos that chose to take on Cinnabar's burden in chapter 2.

One of the two's most minor interactions is actually incredibly telling of the way they're conditioned:

Phos is too caught up in his own problems to even think about Cinnabar, and it stays that way.

It's funny, really, how such a collectivist society breeds such selfish people incapable of empathy due to the repression and neglect of everyone's insecurities and bonds. It's because, like Cinnabar, the flaws are pushed away into the night, that the gems, seemingly perfect and lustrous, don't get to be human, and thus, don't get to connect and be happy.

False Connection

However, once Cinnabar rejects Phos, a new door opens. She connects with everyone, who see how useful she actually is, and finally gets to be included.

Despite the danger, despite the menace that Cinnabar’s existence brings alongside it, which is a metaphor for how each and every one of us carry flaws that may or may not be accepted, Cinnabar is now included, despite them.

Her mercury is seen as an advantage, rather than a bother. Her flaws are now seen as strengths, and this finally... makes her whole.

Phos’ return, however, is a reminder of what was.

Of the way everyone abandoned her for hundreds of years.

Of how she is valued only because of her battle strength, from a community that doesn't really care about her as much as they care about her utility.

And she knows. She knows this, and she stays with them regardless.

Cinnabar sees the whole picture because she has come to terms with the imperfection of life, with the imperfection of bonds, with the superficiality of it all—and it's enough for her. 

For someone with as low of a self-worth as her, these fragile, superficial, fake bonds are as real as it gets. While Phos pursued an ideal and ended up destroying everything because of it, Cinnabar accepted reality, for better or for worse. She turned a blind eye, despite seeing the whole picture, and that's the kind of happiness she chose. She is as wise as she is foolish, as happy as she is truly, and deeply, alone.

Cinnabar ends as a character by thanking Phos.

Because, in one way or another, she served as the catalyst for Cinnabar’s happiness, even if it meant that she had to act as the villain in her story.

In the end, Cinnabar stays happy with the gems in the lunarians’ world.

A feeble, superficial, hedonistic happiness, but happiness nonetheless, and one that shouldn't be looked down upon. Because the one she could have had with Phos was taken away, by both of them.

In the end, they were both too self-absorbed—too selfish, to reach out to each other.

And they become just a memory.

What is Happiness?

Cinnabar's happines, though, is in stark contrast with the one Phos shares with the pebbles, and it's up to the reader to decide what kind of happiness seems to be more realistic.

Is it Cinnabar's happiness, founded on lies, superficiality, but in a way, humanity? A happiness enjoyed in falsehood and repression, in what is said and not said, in the beauty of flowers that represent connection but also superficial beauty?

It's funny, because the flower Cinna gives to Ladra in Party of the End is apparently... eaten by Blue Zoisite, who the photographer is dating.

The purpose of Cinnabar, the job she found, related to the flowers and nature she used to know all about during her time as a gem, are now only another thing to be to be eaten—or perhaps, consumed.

And this, too, is something she knows. She's accepted it.