bleh heh heh bleck!

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

The Smash Bros. cast swapping anecdotes about their various evil doppelgangers and Mario getting into an argument about whether Wario counts.

Wario is playing Devil’s advocate because being Mario’s evil doppleganger is great for business. If he was just some guy, nobody would buy Warioware.

4 non blondes were right. I DO wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs what’s going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*"A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES" followed by the sound a dodgeball makes when it hits you*

Certified FFXIV Heritage Post

Shall I compare thee to some shit that's gay?

short term memory loss service dog that remembers things for you

short term memory loss service Doug that remembers it so you dont have to

what is it they put in the hardware store to make it smell so good

oooouuuggghhhh

gmail = garry's mail

garry's spot

had a dream that like how people can link their spotify to their discord account you could also link your smoke detector to your discord and it notified your friends when it went off

An imagined version of yourself living happily in an alternate universe is a kind of dead wife

scalloped potatoes that take the pain away

beef that makes you someone it didn't happen to

buttered rolls that make the world a little softer