2026 Book Review #38 ā Umineko WHEN THEY CRY Episode 3: Banquet of the Golden Witch by Ryukishi07 and Kei Natsumi
The third of eight parts in the manga adaptation of the famous visual novel, which combined have a page count I think can literally be described as myriadic. This episode marks the point where Iām just giving up on making any sort of predictions about how the plot will develop. Partially because I was entirely taken in by the elaborate fake-out that took up half of it, and partially because Beatrice basically turns directly to the audience early on to helpfully inform you that things are only going to get weirder and more anime from here on out.
As seems to be the structure of the series, this episode once again follows the wealthy Ushiromiya family (and their servants) on a fateful weekend in 1986. Though this time theyāre joined by a much larger cast of the witch Beatriceās various magical slaves, familiars and occult peers, and the psychodrama between her and Battler is even more prominent relative to the āground-levelā occult murder mystery than in episode 2. And, in a dramatic departure from the previous runs through this weekend, this time someone actually tries to solve the witchās riddle before most of the island has been brutally murdered. Frankly the riddle itself turns out to be an anticlimax, solved in the space of a couple chapters without much incident or drama until the prize is literally right in front of them ā but then, the riddle turns out to be much less important than the āprizeā for solving it. Namely, inheriting (as well as the gold and family name) Beatriceās witchly title and powers. The central drama of the episodeās back half is the horror of a newborn witch (it turns out to be less āyou become a witchā and more āa witch emerges from your subconscious, doesnāt necessarily think much of you or whatever you may care aboutā) and Beatriceās apparent redemption arc, as the contrast with a crueller and more capricious usurper seems to force her into self-reflection and even self-sacrifice.
Iāll freely admit I didnāt have enough faith in this series. I spent quite a lot of the episode getting increasingly annoyed and starting to check out entirely, sure that they were in the process of giving Beatrice the most abrupt and stereotypical redemption imaginable (complete with strong romantic overtones between her and Battler). I was dreading what a slog the rest of the series was going to be and what it would even look like from here on, honestly. Which meant the big twist in the final chapter absolutely got me, and entirely redeemed the whole exercise (though Iām grateful it didnāt get dragged out any longer than it already was). Sadly Beatrice suffers from fatal cartoon-supervillain-itis, and was unable to restrain her gloating and monologuing habits for the two more minutes it would have taken to actually win ā and thus we have another 5 episodes that will not be entirely spent on Battler being subjected to an eternity of varied tortures.
(I honestly have no earthly idea how this keeps going for another five episodes, given that it feels like weāve already gone through most of the mysteries and foreshadowing the first episode established and there hasnāt been that much laid out since. But I would never have predicted where this episode went in a thousand years either, so for now Iām just going to trust the process.)
The ground-level events on the island seem to be getting less and less focus with each passing episode, if only to make room for ever-more-elaborate occult intrigue in the same rough page count. Which is something of a shame, because one of the great strengths and appeals of this sort of time loop fiction to me is its ability to manage a sprawling cast and give different members of it their own opportunity to shine in different iterations of the same event. Weāre only in this episode really getting some focus on Kyrie and Rudolf, who Iāve been curious about and interested in from the start, and I admit Iām a bit disappointed that my arbitrarily-chosen faves have so much competition for attention in their bit of time on centre-stage.
Speaking of that competition ā I have since learned that Umineko is actually kind of famous for its incredibly over-the-top fight scenes, but itās not something I was at all prepared for starting the series. This episode, having as it does an elaborate witchesā duel with floating towers and legendary summoned weapons taking up most of a chapter, marks the point where that action has started becoming actively tiresome. Maybe itās just my dysfunctional eyes making parsing the incredibly busy fight panels more effort than itās usually worth, but basically every fight in this is dragged out two or three times longer than it needs to be for the sake of pure spectacle, and the spectacle is just not nearly good enough to justify the effort.
Iām not quite so down on the inter-witch intrigue and scheming, especially since it is moving towards really mattering to the parts of the story worth caring about. But the story spends an immense amount of time holding forth about how various types of magic work, and seems entirely sanguine about contradicting itself here whenever doing so would be cooler-looking or more convenient in the moment. Iām not quite sure if effort spent trying to synthesize a coherent system out of what weāre shown would be rewarded later or just be a waste of my time.
To round out my complaining here, the shift to a different artist in episode 2 and then back to Kei for this really drove home that I just do not much like their style. Mostly just slightly grating or eye-roll inducing, but the combination with the already I assume intentionally strange character designs for the various non-Beatrice witches ends up being a bit uncanny valley and just distractingly dissonant with what I think weāre supposed to get about those witches as characters. Not to mention just kind of aesthetically ugly.
Spleen-venting aside, I remain deeply amused by the big end-of-episode twist and (his love of repetitively monologuing about things we already know aside) Battler as a character has really started growing on me. The hook at the end of the episode combined with my clear inability to predict where the plot will go from here would probably have me curious enough to keep going even if it hadnāt been an enjoyable read.
