heartless, i'll use my heart less

♡

“At least I’ve never been fake nice to your face,” she agreed. It wasn’t necessarily true that she’d never lied, however. Dax put her on her guard; she felt the constant urge to put up walls, to pretend that she wasn’t interested, but if that was really the case, why were her fingers still resting against the inked knifepoint, a safer version of the danger she was too afraid to reach out and touch? Before she could stop herself, her mouth was moving again. “Oh, shut up. You know you’re attractive.”

“Not that you know of. You should probably get your surface antibodies tested.” Even the mere suggestion of something wilder than getting a tattoo in an alley had Carly scrunching up her nose, moments away from sticking her tongue out like a little kid. She bristled a little at his accusatory question, unconsciously leaning in at the same time he did. She’d blame mirror neurons for that one. “I have fun all the time. Just because it doesn’t happen in a dark, dirty alley doesn’t mean it isn’t fun.”

“YES, WHAT DID I DO to deserve such kindness?” he teased as he felt that playful smirk still linger on the edges of his strawberry brims, shooting her a little look as if he owed her one. this back and forth was what dax lived for, always a comment thrown here and there, and carly kept up perfectly even when she wasn’t in a her right mind. but a part of that meant unfiltered honesty, and she let up that she found him attractive, something he noted for later use. “a lot of it comes from confidence, but what can i say...i’m no child of aphrodite though.” he commented, giving her a compliment that was dusted in sugar, only a slight bit of mischief lingering behind his eyes. 

“TRUST ME, i get tested monthly.” and that was the truth, dax (despite his drug use), kept himself in fairly good health. co-captain of the lacrosse team, fairly frequent gym visitor, he was in great shape even if he didn’t dress in tight clothes to flaunt it. it was clear in the exposed, tattooed arm that her fingers still lingered on, which he hadn’t forgotten about. leaning forward as he didn’t budge, maybe invading personal space, but she didn’t move away and instead leaned forward as well. “what? you have fun...shopping for plants? reading a good book all alone at night? there’s this big, giant world out there, sometimes you have to take a risk every now and then....like you did tonight.” he hummed out lowly, tongue slipping past his lips as he smirked, eyes flickering over her face, “i can tell you have something in you that is tempted to live a little dangerously, you tapped into it tonight, it’s only a matter of time.”

♡

It still hadn’t been officially proven that Dax had a heart, soul, or conscience, but Carly knew that she did, and she felt guilty as soon as the words left her mouth. It was one thing to make the teasing comments to one another occasionally, but she had never been so blunt before. “I’m sorry. Was that mean? I didn’t mean to say it out loud,” she insisted. “I guess that implies I was thinking it? I don’t know. I really haven’t heard…that much about you. You’re not as infamous as you give yourself credit for.”

At his admission, her eyes shot back up to his face and her mouth dropped open. Her hand lingered on his wrist, and she knew she should pull it back, but it felt sort of nice just sitting there, existing with a tiny point of physical contact for a moment. “In an alley? Dax Lee, that is so unsanitary.” Because even if she was high for the first time, she was still herself deep down. “You know you can get Hepatitis C like that? Plus a whole host of other things, plus, how d’you know they even know what they’re doing? I’m scared for you.”

THERE WAS A LOT BREWING beneath the surface of the brooding dio boy, years of unsolved trauma that he probably should get worked out, but he was far too prideful to admit his weaknesses out loud. as she apologized for her call out, he chuckled and shook his head, “trust me, i’ve heard way worse. i’d prefer honesty over acting fake to my face anyways, besides, you haven’t run away yet...seems like a good enough sign you aren’t totally repulsed.” dax pointed out with a small smile to himself, glancing back up at the ride as it whirled around in the night sky, admiring the colors if only for a moment. sitting here with her wasn’t all that bad, he could manage a few more minutes.

BUT HIS ATTENTION drew back to her whenever she dropped her mouth open at his admission, it was laughable to see the exaggerated expression, “yeah, but what’s life without taking the risks it offers?” he explained as he leaned in towards her, smirk tugging on the corner of his mouth as he raised a brow at her, “well, i didn’t get it, i don’t scare so easily. it makes for one hell of a story, you should hear what we got into after.” that night was vivid in his mind, there was many like it that ran together, riding motorcycles in the dark of the night down foggy streets and running around until the sun chased them home. “are you always so scared to have a little fun every now and then?” he asked as he looked over her face curiously, eyes sparkling now with interest.

♡

Carly wasn’t sure that she really wanted to forget the one positive interaction they’d had, as laced with sarcasm and thinly veiled barbs as it was, but it was probably for the best. “You seem like you have a lot of experience with forgetting girls the next day,” she said. The words just slipped out, her foggy state of mind making her too honest.

The sensible part of her brain was getting louder, an indication that she might be slowly coming back to herself, and she wasn’t sure how much longer this would last. She wanted to revel in the intense sensations while she could. When he exposed the full length of his inked arm, she let her fingertips trail over the designs before returning to that sharp curve. “Wow,” she breathed. His skin was soft, and the stark lines of a dagger cut across his forearm. With her index finger, she slowly followed the outline of the point, eyes glued to the image. “Were you scared?” she blurted out.

HE WAS SURE THAT there was plenty of people around campus that wished they could forget interactions with him, romantic or not, dax knew he wasn’t exactly the most pleasant to be around sometimes. he was moody, he was blunt, and he certainly wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. her comment brought a raise of his brows though, brash and honest, and he shrugged, “right, that’s the word on campus isn’t it?” june hit the nail on the head of that earlier, that girls talked about him, warned against approaching him. it was a stigma that stuck with him, and he was well aware of it, there wasn’t much he could do to change his image now.

ALMOND EYES WATCHED as her fingers trailed along his ink covered skin, multiple tattoos littering his body as he pursed his lips together. carly seemed in awe, and he was sure a large majority of that had to do with the substances, but still it was amusing to witness. “scared?” dax repeated back, a low chuckle leaving his mouth as he shrugged, “i mean, not really. i got my first one when i was seventeen with some buddies back home in an ally, but, no i wouldn’t say i was scared about these. i sort of....like getting tattoos? if that makes sense?” and it was a way to control pain, the beauty of linework done by masterful artists, there wasn’t a piece her regretted. 

☆

“Thanks, man. Lots of practice. I’ve heard that same speech a time or two myself, and given it.” He’d found himself on both ends of the fuck-up spectrum, an odd place to be, offering encouragement to his younger siblings at camp when he himself was barely holding it together. He was sure Dax hadn’t meant to reveal anything much about himself with the offhand comment, but it gave Rhys the barest of glimpses into his past. That he was just like almost every other demigod, struggling to fit into the narrow boxes of mortal society like the rest of them. “No shit? You can’t get drunk at all? That’s…” He couldn’t even put into words the inner turmoil that would cause. “I feel for you, mate, I’m really sorry. I thought my dad fucked me over. And yeah, I’ve been a few times. You go there often?”

                  HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW to tell the guy that the comment wasn’t exactly a compliment, this guy reminded him a lot of his little sister’s ex, a bit unaware of his surroundings and social queues. “good for you.” was all dax could really offer, voice missing any real warmth, monotoned almost as he glanced at his reflection yet again. “it’s bullshit, to be honest. but it just means i have to find other ways to have a good time, which i’ve never had a hard time doing.” drugs, it was pretty self explanatory, and he wasn’t going to get into his vices with a stranger. “how could hermes fuck you over, you guys have impressive abilities.” dax informed him, because they did, the way a guy like him would have benefitted big time off being able to swipe shit and run would be a big win. his gaze returns back to rhys now, brows knitting together as he looked at him, “no? i just know that there’s some hot chick that works there, other than that, i don’t see a reason to go.”

⋆

Somehow, she’s transported into the role of grumpy librarian as her green eyes fall back on his, peaking over the reading glasses she only sports when in the establishment or the library. Dax. A smile even tugs at the corner of her lips as she gives the other a look that says cool, I don’t care. His request however, forces her to commit somewhat to the conversation as Amelia truly doesn’t want to find herself out of a job– much less out of Re-reads. with a tild of her head, the goes over the words on her mental catalogue and finally results to the computer on her side. The search doesn’t stop her, however, from making a remark on the wonderful display of character, “It’s a fairly new book, I doubt it’s in bad conditions if we have it. But, I recommend Amazon if you’re really that picky”.

           HE KNOWS THAT smile fairly well, it’s one he wears more often than not, the type of smile that says ‘i dont give a fuck’. dax rarely ever had a genuine expression cross his face that was trained and strategical, and luckily this wasn’t a situation where he had to play a part to get his way. watching with nothing short of a blank expression, his long fingers slid across the counter with disinterest, messing with the little trinkets as she looked at the computer, “i’m just saying, some people treat books like shit, and if i’m getting a book...it’s got to be in good condition. amazon is bullshit, plus supporting smaller businesses is important or whatever.” dax noted as he shrugged, glancing back towards the blonde, “so you got it or?”

ღ 

“ are you though ? ” she’s teasing and quite honestly , she knows that as close as they are, he knows a lot more about her than she does of him. she may have had a good poker face thanks to dionysus but it didn’t mean she didn’t wear her heart on her sleeve with those she cared for and trusted, dax being one of them. despite the constant bickering and banter, he’s one of the people she relies on the most. how she managed to spend most her life without her brother by her side is beyond her though she’s thankful nonetheless that they crossed paths, obnoxious antics and all. “not worrisome, just concerned. who knows what stupid shit you’ll get mixed in next.” there’s a small smirk on her lips. as different as they are, she knows there are moments where it seems like they’ve been cut from the same cloth - bad decisions being one of them. “i’d rather not.” it’s an honest answer for once, simple and truth, not knowing how much more critique from others she’s actually able to take. “gotcha,” she sighs, shifting her gaze from him to what was straight ahead of them. “i did something really stupid,” she finally admits after a few seconds of silence. tears threaten to well in her eyes before she manages to mask how she felt with the facade of a smile. “that was the walk of shame,” she chuckles dryly, “i hooked up with theo after basically breaking his heart, again. i broke up with him without giving him much of an explanation, ghosted him for two years, lied about why i broke up with him then showed up at his window on his birthday after he had told me he never wanted to see me again and only then, i was actually honest ― which, i know you know this, but like i don’t recommend it. honestly, it literally gets you nowhere.” she’s rambling by now, mess of thoughts unraveling into words as she finds herself unloading it all on dax. “anyway, long story short, we’re both upset and i don’t know how to fix things so i kiss him. i mean, who does that? but then he kisses me and we’re not about to talk about my sex life but needless to say, i really fucked up. i have to avoid him forever now but i really don’t want to do that but what else can i do? i’m a horrible person. i―i mean, what the hell was i thinking? why did i do that? gods, i’m a fucking idiot.”

          “I DUNNO SIS, sounds pretty worrisome to me. i get mixed up in stupid shit all the time though, so can you really say it’s something to be concerned over?” virginia didn’t know the extremes of the people he was mixed up with, that was the reason he kept people at an arms distance, because it seemed like anyone who got close to him got hurt. but he understood the underlying concern for him, because at the end of the day, she was all he really had. aylin and virginia were the only known family he had left, and he would fight for their safety any day of the week, even if he had trouble admitting it out loud. walking in step with her towards the smoothie shop, the admission that she did something stupid made him slow down a bit, “well, we are dio kids, doing stupid shit is sort of in our blood.” dax tried to offer in a light joke with a small smile, seeing the way her eyes momentarily glossed over before she masked it. another thing they did best, hiding emotions. “ah, a walk of shame, i know her well.” he sighed out before letting her continue on, nose scrunching up at her story a bit as he pictured the son of zeus and her together. it made sense, their relationship, and he’d seen the kid around campus enough times to know he fit that golden boy aesthetic...it was only a matter of time before virginia went full dio like this on him. the question of what she should do next was probably not one to be posed to him, “i...damn vi, that’s a lot.” he rubbed the back of his neck as they neared the shop, shaking his head as he shrugged, “i mean i would avoid like hell, but that’s probably the wrong choice, i dunno if you should take advice from me. i had a major fuck up the last night of the carnival, or at least, it finally came to bite me in the ass that night from something a few months ago.” he sighed out, reaching over to nudge his little sister with a small, rarely sympathetic smile, “you did it because you probably have a hard time letting the dude go, you said you two had super long history, right? that doesn’t go away overnight. but, we are dio kids, being idiots and causing destruction is sort of our thing right?”

❀

    “don’t worry about it, dax. i’d get pretty offended myself if someone questioned my plant knowledge,” they try to lighten up the mood with a soft laugh, though it dies out to somber silence. it isn’t unusual for one to feel so attached to their plants—at least not for mae—but the intensity within dax’s eyes speaks of more than mere plant-dad attachment. curious.

    “of course! need you even ask? i promise you she’ll be loved well even when you’re not there to attend to her yourself, and no one will need to walk out sideways. now,” they hold out their hands to the pot in his arms, “shall we?”

        IT’S ALMOST LAUGHABLE to think such a dark and rough around the edges type such as himself, would be so attached to an apple tree seedling. but to him, it was so much more than that. it was a representation of a strong woman who raised him, taken away too soon, and seeing it grow and flourish was all he wanted. dax let’s his delicate fingers run along the pot, tapping them absentmindedly before shrugging his shoulders, “i’ll come by and see her every day, don’t worry. i won’t give up on her.” and he tried to keep somewhat of a light hearted tone, but there’s a lingering seriousness under his tone. glancing at her hands, and then back to the pot in his own, dax let out a small sigh and handed it over with a bit of hesitancy. “yeah....i guess if i’m going to trust anyone with it, you’d be the person that would come to my mind first.”

♡

It’s…becoming on you.

Her face was already very warm, and she thanked the dark and her tanned complexion and every god in the pantheon that it would be difficult to distinguish a flush from the high and from his words. The turn of phrase made her stomach drop, and she swallowed hard, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. “Good. Now we both have a secret. Scale of one to ten, how much am I going to regret that when I sleep this off?” He was wearing long sleeves, but one pushed up slightly, and she was able to see a splash of dark ink that looked like it wove its way up his forearm. She remembered the way his fingertips had felt like velvet on her skin, and reached out without thinking, brushing the soft pad of her index finger against the sharp outline. “Can I see?”

         HE WOULD GIVE himself far more credit for charming a daughter of aphrodite, had she not been under such a strong influence, but he watched as his compliment did cause her to fumble even a little bit. a small victory, but still one, nonetheless. “don’t worry, lady devil, i’ll act like none of this ever happened. then you won’t have to remember having to deal with me at all, maybe your hypnos friend can even wipe it from your memory if it’s still even the slightest bit fuzzy.” and he was good at that, pretending stuff didn’t happen, going about his life like all this wreckage wasn’t left behind him. thank dionysus and his acting abilities, he supposed. but dax felt his attention pulled back when she touched the exposed skin along his wrist, “huh?” sometimes he forgot the tattoos littering his body, and he glanced down before shrugging, “yeah, sure....”shrugging off the jacket he threw on, he motioned to the artwork on his arm, “go crazy.”

☆

“Hey, don’t say that. You’re important.” If this were a friend, like Teddy or Sosa or one of his brothers, this would be the time to reach out and pat their shoulder, maybe give him a super manly hug. But he had a good feeling that wouldn’t go over well with this guy. “I’m sure whatever your powers are, they’re super important. If it helps, you’ve been giving off real antihero vibes since we got in here. I mean that in the best way possible, really. I love a good antihero. Jason Todd? Floyd Lawton? And Harley Quinn–gods, the list could go on forever.”

       THAT EARNS A CHUCKLE, the whole ‘you are important’ speech, “you sound like my grade school counselor.” dax said with a shake of his head, but at least the laugh was genuine, the memory of the old guy behind the counter trying to figure out the storm behind his eyes even when he was a young teen, and never succeeding. and then the man in front of him is rambling on, again, and dax simply stares before smirking a bit as he stopped walking. “the only fun on is driving people mad, the rest are sort of dumb. you would think the god of chaos would offer more than being able to make anything alcoholic yet not being able to get drunk, or popping up at any party, but here we are.” he muttered in slight annoyance then he heard all references and blinking a few times, “i take it you spend a lot of time at multiverse?”

♡

“I am. I’m hilarious. I’m a riot,” she insisted. She could be funny, sometimes. She wasn’t always the buzzkill control freak that everyone thought she was; she could be fun. She could joke around. She was high on mushrooms, for god’s sake. As Dax brushed off her apology, she finally pocketed the money, internally pouting a little. Even for something as small as a lemonade, she wouldn’t feel right until she paid him back, which meant she’d have to see him again. The thought didn’t fill her with dread like she might have expected. She had to admit, as she took a sip of the cold drink, that maybe her curiosity was piqued, just a little. Maybe. She gave him a small smile. “That you actually have a heart,” she replied. The neon lights were shining off of his dark hair, creating a halo of color around his head that mesmerized her, eyes wide. “I wouldn’t wanna ruin your reputation.”

NODDING AS SHE INSISTED, dax couldn’t help but smile a bit at the way the usually wound up girl let loose, the effects of the drugs certainly having their way with her. it was refreshing to see, and while he didn’t recommend everyone partake in stuff like this, sometimes it really could make someone relax. although her explanation certainly made his brows furrow together, this wasn’t the first time he’d been called out for showing some type of empathy. for the most part, he was stone faced, hiding any ounce of warmth under a cool and mysterious front as if it was some shield from getting hurt. “right, well, we can keep that between us.” the dio boy muttered, his tone low and smooth as his almond eyes moved back to her, “don’t worry, i’ll make sure to not tell anyone that you know how to have some fun every now and then. it’s....becoming on you.” and he meant it, even if it was playful, nodding his head with the smallest smile shimmering behind his chocolate orbs.

☆

“Yeah. Yes. Always.” He nodded emphatically. This guy was very cool, but definitely a super villain, radiating Lex Luthor energy from his entire body. Rhys followed along, because there was nothing else he could do at this moment. He was beginning to hate whichever house had placed the illusion magic on this stupid exhibit, and made a mental note to actually learn more about the other houses, so he’d know who was capable of making him babble like an idiot. “It’s small talk. I didn’t realize the information was so sensitive, man, I’m really sorry.”

           HIS HANDS MOVED to slip into the pockets of his coat, something that was slowly going out of season but if he was going to a carnival it was better to play it safe, why would he risk one of his nicer coats for something as childish as is? honestly, dax wasn’t even trying to get this guy in a rambling mess, not even using his powers of madness to encourage it....but he found it amusing nonetheless. slowly turning around to face the hermes boy, he nodded a bit, “not sensitive, just not important. sorry i’m not a small talk sort of guy, never been my strong suit. you don’t have to apologize, that’s a weakness, you have to work on that. apologizing randomly gives the other person an upper hand, makes you seem easily manipulated.” why was he telling this guy this? it was unclear, but dax didn’t really see him as a threat, more like a harmless little fruit fly if anything else. moving towards the right now, he could already smell the freshly popped kettle corn from outside, sighing out in relief his instincts were helping him out. 

🌈

BLUE HUES FLIT TO THE ornate dagger in his hand, tilting her head slightly at the sight of it, suddenly curious about its nature. “ nah, i doubt it. —yours is like, prettier, and i barely know how to use mine, anyways. but, i’m not really planning on getting into any knife fights. ” momo feels herself grow a bit giddy at the word date, though she’s sure he means nothing by it. after all, they were just friends, and momo was determined to stick around in that sense. “ those are fightin’ words, mr. daxton !! ” she replies to him, laughing softly, “ because i like, would take a picture, and put it on instagram. and add, like, a million different hashtags to it about our budding friendship. ” the last part’s more for dramatic flair, but the sentiment is still there. she looks down at his handiwork, a hand reaching out to trace the letters, “ your handwriting’s nice, ” momo says after a moment, before brows furrow, “ —wait, what about your name ?? here, ” she doesn’t wait for a response before she lifts her left hand, conjuring an aforementioned dagger of light. the girl moves forward to get a better angle, before beginning to carve dax’s name into the wood.