and your smile on my shoulder? well that's mine @floor-archivist - Tumblr Blog

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

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vonlipwig

so you're a parent, right? and your kid's school has been keeping in pretty constant contact about their staffing issues. you get it; it's not like education has ever been a well-paid job. maybe you even considered it once, a million years ago, but you discounted the idea as soon as you saw the paygrades - it really is a vocation for those people.

anyway, yeah, your kid's had substitutes for over half the academic year now and it's not that they're bad at their jobs, per se, it's just. well. y'know. a rotating cast of teachers isn't ideal for academic advancement. kids need stability.

but you get why the school hasn't let their usual teacher go and hired someone new. you think he's been on stress leave, maybe? you understand that, for sure; practically everyone is going through burnout right now, ironically. and the guy's the most committed, knowledgable, passionate teacher you've ever met. he has a doctorate, for christ's sake - god knows why he's teaching middle school. but he cares. like REALLY cares. you swear he fully teared up at the last parent-teacher conference when you said your child was considering a career in STEM because of his lessons.

you hope he's doing alright. and you really hope he comes back soon; apparently the last sub believed in intelligent design.

anyway, it's time for the launch, so you'd better focus up and watch-- wait. what the FUCK.

peachfromcmbyn

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

#Water

starlooping

gooood morning evrynyan i am here to inflict as much emotional damage as possible. am i succeeding

naut-of-the-cosmos

Iron Lung x The Mechanisms: good, logical, space wars and such

Iron Lung x Project Hail Mary: awesome, get the sweethearts outta space

The Mechanisms x Project Hail Mary: ?????? what the fucketh would happen??????

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pjharvey

we have to start running a massive PSA campaign to young gay people so everyone understands there is a difference between being a dom and being a top and between being a sub and being a bottom. and also that sometimes you are neither a sub nor a bottom and you're just like shy. we need to be handing out flyers we need ads at every train station spreading the word

nicothespy

do people still gaf about phm or am i late to the party

stillarriving

if i were to lose you

maybe i’d lose myself too

acanfullofspiders

I fear we may have gone too far...

sharrrrknight

Yknow the lil fanfic trope where a character, usually non-human, purrs like a cat. In this case it would obviously be Rocky but what if it was Grace instead hear me out-

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phantomrose96

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

strangeauthor

misscrazyfangirl321

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

gummy-worms-in-my-brain

my grub #mygrub

gummy-worms-in-my-brain

my glorpgrub #glorpgrub

orcboxer

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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boydyke-rat

Unironically garfield is kinda a fat liberation icon and I stand by that

purplepenguintime

Grace is on Erid, dying of malnutrition and every other disease. The Eridian scientists are fighting for their lives to try and keep Rocky’s beloved flesh blob from shrivelling up. They can’t synthesize the food he needs and it all seems hopeless. But then, in their finest hour, a beautiful dwarf descends from the thick ammonia atmosphere to provide Grace with his first proper meal in years.

It is, of course, Senshi of Izganda

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and your smile on my shoulder? well that's mine