exit, pursued by a bear

In another life I would have loved to poison the abusive husbands of the women in my village

when you eat a Normal Sandwich (bread meat greens cheese relish) and your body goes ooohhh fuck! oh fuck! what have you done! heartbeat GO! sweating GO! temperature GO! like sorry man I'm just trying to keep you WORKING!!!!!!!! ASS HOLE!

... is eating not supposed to make your heart race?

... is eating not supposed to make you fall asleep for two hours?

... is eating not supposed to make you feel shaky and Bad before you finish the plate?

we are all absolutely fucked my friends

TIL that in medieval times trebuchets were sometimes used during tournaments to bombard the watching ladies with roses, and there is something so inherently comedic about this to me. picture me blasting roses at my lover's window with the force of a battlefield assault to win her hand

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

in the future humans will have something called "sinus button " and pressing it will immediately drain your sinuses of all fluid so that it can be filled with other things like rocks, webs, paint, tar, freef (new fluid that will be so important in that time) and also dr papper

There is no amount of money, oil, or gold that is worth more than having bees, trees, and clean water.

this might be kind of a reach but is there a way for printers to connect to devices so that documents can be printed from them

"Your personality comes from the way you were parented" "Your personality is inate and genetic" wrong!!!!! your personality comes from that one piece of media you were unhealthily and irreversibly obsessed with when you were 13 years old

there’s just something so awesome about a character you love getting really badly hurt

oh blorbo from my shows? haha yeah man i love that guy. i hope something terrible happens to him in front of his loved ones that he barely survives and i get to watch.