R

Whatever *sticks my dick in the gap between who you are and who you portray yourself as*

is anyone here ready for fat transgender summer can we give it up for fat transgender summer

i like when i put a little emoticon at the end of my parentheticals (like this ^_^) because it turns it into a messageworm

I love love love saying "I scavenged a working microwave in the boylands" but nobody ever knows the reference and it breaks my heart

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

World Heritage Post

eeby deeby... i haven't heard that name in years...

Realizing the depression is not seasonal is like: Wow! What a beautiful flower! The birds are singing! I sure do love spring! I think I am fundamentally unlovable as a person.

i dont even care about getting “high” i just really enjoy coughing so fucking hard

No, no. I can have one more shot, I swear. I won’t start behaving like a flamboyantly gay pansy stock character in a pre-code film again. I swear. You can trust me. Darling, you must trust me.

i know no one on here cares, but it's so wild to watch NASA piloted launch coverage again after years of having to deal with SpaceX. They're explaining minor glitches without bullshitting about weather delays?? There's a guy holding his 2yo kid's model rocket being like "he said I could use this so it's okay. Anyway, the battery for this system is here--"