who died and made me the DM?

Dandelions have a symbiotic relationship with little kids who make wishes

this is... not entirely false, actually 

i am at a point in my life.

#oh i just assumed he was out and about like that per @letsboldlygomotherfuckers

Say what you will about magical shapeshifters being a lazy plot device, but I Have literally never seen an actor doing the “me pretending to be this other person pretending to be me” bit who wasn’t clearly having a great time.

Body swapping episodes may seem cliche but the actors need them for their enrichment and health and it would be cruel not to give it to them

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

#here is a man so heartless he has literally cut his own heart out of his chest #but he's still not as evil as the fucking east india trading company

So play like a noob? got it

You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.

I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?

I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.

The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.

is now a good time to mention that the woman in the screenshot literally runs rotatingsandwiches.com

this best thing about this is the meme format conditions you to expect a follow up statement and it’s absence contributes to a sense of stillness, simulating the experience of just sitting in your truck

is anyone else on this hill or is it just me and sisyphus and kate bush?