It'sa me, Mario!

I can’t wait till this is on my dash again on December 24th tbh.

You are not that powerful of a villain but you rank high on the wanted list because you don't give prep time and you dont talk too much

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

This post made my water break

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

WHAT

God, I love this accursed website.

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

Happy 7th birthday Marceline! Your mom is a tumblrina and probably named you after a cartoon vampire <3

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

ah the post below this on my timeline was transformer porn so yeah thanks for oiling them up more

man.

one time someone online got mad at me for drawing porn of oddish. disregarding any and all discourse about whether or not pokemon pass the harkness test, im sorry, thats an onion. thats a root vegetable. if you truly believe that rule 34 of a sentient onion creature speaks to a desire to have sex with the real life equivalent, you dont have to worry about me commiting beastiality. but keep an eye on me in the produce section

she jack off my trades till im master of none

Only on tumblr can you find such superior examples of shitposting

i was actually born 9 months premature. they had to give me to a dust mite as a wet nurse.

I love getting "post without tags?" on my stupidest ever posts. oh my god sorry tumblr how could i forget. #dust mite #wet nurse

my friend gave me a 20-second long hug once and it reminded me that I'm alive