[REDACTED]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

numbah one rule of headaches is keep looking at that screen and turn the brightness alllllllllll the way up… and a little electronic music couldn’t hurt.. if that’s your style

the problem is giving up genuinely feels so good #imnotdoingthat

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

liking a ship but disliking the distinct set of stock fanon that they have been assigned is like one of those punishments dante came up with when he wrote the worldbuilding for hell in inferno

the golden rule is that a very entangled relationship is more interesting if there's genuinely no sex or romance involved. the silver rule is that if you Must involve sexual and/or romantic feelings somehow the presence of those feelings has to make literally everything so, so, so much worse

ok so its a pretty good story but you know what would make it better? a liar. a character who lies. maybe two.

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

(tearfully) i just want everyone to be a girl…m-my lesbian greed…it can’t b-be sated…

every chapter of deltarune has a secret npc who only appears if you leave and re-enter the room 1225 times while you have a bagel in your seventh inventory slot and the npc is a sentient doorknob and when you talk to them the music cuts out and they’re like “who’s that whispering in the trees, it’s two sailors and they’re on leave, pipes and chains and swinging hands, who’s your daddy, yes i am” and then within four hours there’s a thirty minute long video on youtube titled “ASGORE IS FRIEND??? DADDY THEORY EXPLAINED” and it already has 100,000 views and then a year later people call the next chapter disappointing because it was focusing too much on developing the main characters instead of explaining the doorknob guy

when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said

we love to applaud performative masculinity

I was a stoic

babe wake up...i need to tell you multiple thoughts that don't corelate at all that i had in the span of five minutes..