catch the world in its changing and change with it

really strange how you can be almost at peace with something that happened to you but it will continue to be a defining moment of your life for the rest of your life. you wont think about it much anymore but in a conversation about a film someone will mention the year it was released and you’ll think to yourself, “that was before it happened” and you’ll see an old photo and think how strange it is to have existed before it happened and somehow it’s like living a life in two acts

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

these are different things btw. actual adaptability means not dealing with being miserable long term. and being constantly mildly annoyed/frustrated with a situation but being “able to deal with it” counts as ambient misery. btw.

let this be your sign to make your life just a little more livable. get a dollar store trash can for your bedside so Cup City’s invasion plans fall through. block a tag or post that makes you grind your teeth every time you see it. get some grip pads so your bed stops sliding across the hardwood a little bit every time you get in it. tell that person you need a little more support. if you get annoyed at a situation more than a couple times, change it. don’t be content with being miserable.

and the more that you start doing this, the better you will get at detecting your own feelings and advocating for yourself! This is an important start to being more of a person in the world if you struggle with that

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

Happy Smallpox Eradication Day

anyway i’m really happy you exist at the same time as me. i feel so lucky to know you.

sorry about not replying I think I’ve gone missing

did you know that apparently if you try to act normal the normalness doesn't come through but the acting does. and did you know apparently everyone can smell this on you like a bloodhound

This is the foundation of all hope btw. In the words of Tolkien, 'despair is for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.'

stop calling your own work slop

stop forcing yourself to disengage with what you love because a layer of irony makes it more comfortable. admit you care and let yourself feel good about it

It's weird when you can really be self aware of "this is a particularly potent and strange moment in my life" as it's still actively happening

"questions will be answered and you will be left highly unsatisfied because what you really wanted was love" is a quote that has lived in my mind for years now. it is the mantra i repeat to myself every time i become consumed by unfinished business, ever since i had a death in the family of someone i had huge unresolved beef with. i think of it as the focal point of all of my art. and of most art in general. and as far as i can find, the origin of it is from a random person's film blog review of prometheus 2012 ????

"time heals all wounds" WRONG! time is ripping into me with a cheese grater