the human Heart is no small thing-

how to do things that everyone else seems to do no problem

youve been a bad *remembers youre plural* people

paul mccartney lies are like john and i werent gay bob dylan lies are like i used to be a male prostitute and slept in a wet cardboard box all alone

Paul simon lies are like "I actually wrote that song about nobody in particular"

wait! I can release my pet silverfish into the apartment to attack the roach

I’m kind of enamored with the my pet silverfish. I’ve only ever seen babies in my bathroom but this one is a full adult

We genuinely need to kill and eat anyone who likes music

If I was a tree, I would use my mycelium network to spread lies for clout

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

YOU’RE NOT DEAD YET YOU’RE NOT DEAD YET GET THE FUCK UP YOU’RE NOT DEAD YET IT ISN’T FUCKING OVER DRAG YOUR CORPSE KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO TOMORROW ONE DAY YOU WILL STOP SURVIVING AND START LIVING YOU ARE NOT FUCKING DEAD YET.

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis