Mostly harmless

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

The use of the princess bride implies that they’re both windex

it also implies that op developed immunity to windex

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

i don’t think i’m exaggerating when i say that the average height for women in the US would increase by at least an inch if teen girls were allowed to eat as much as teen boys are

and not to bring my own clocky bitch ass into this but if cis women weren’t so consistently starved their entire lives you’d see a lot more cis women with the kind of bodies that we currently associate closely with trans women. the amount that the standards of feminine presentation are culturally defined by malnutrition is crazy

sucking dick is demeaning

De meaning of life 😎

Anthony Bourdain

Man this store has a weird playlist, it's all Weird Al songs but with the lyrics switched out for ones that aren't funny.

Every day I get a little closer to saying fuck it and becoming an apprentice in some at risk heritage craft or profession.

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

adhd is such a humiliating disease to have ones life ruined by

Yeaaa

someone whose never lived anywhere where malaria / dengue / chikingunya is endemic: we need to love mosquitoes more!!! they're so important to the ecosystem you just need to get over those massive death tolls, the only disease that really needs to be cured is cancer