Mostly harmless

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. For everything else, there's Mastercard."

I'm not necessarily rooting for the US in the world cup but I do think it would be funny if they made a deep run if only because I feel like, for countries that are actually good at international football, "You lost to the USAmericans" would make for god tier trash talk

Imagine you're from a country where this sport is like a national civic religion and you lose to a bunch of dork ass losers who call it soccer. There's no coming back from that

I thought the USMNT making a deep run and embarrassing some European teams in the process would be the funniest outcome for them in the World Cup but Trump using FIFA's limitless appetite for corruption to get a red card overturned for their game against Belgium only for them to completely embarrass themselves, play way worse than usual and lose by 3 goals is SO much funnier holy shit that's incredible

me tasting various flavors of gatorade

They were opened in AUGUST 2001. Oh my god. That's both hilarious and tragic.

this is a fucking futurama bit

remember that guy that had a single auditory hallucination that told him he had a brain tumor and the exact location and then he went to the doctor and it was fucking right

Stephen King ass story

americans are like i was gifted child but also i didnt learn other countries existed until i was 35 years old

making this post ruined my life