fathorse

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today i would like to present a bold, feminist reimagining of the evidence you've seen presented against my client

babygirl i can waste time i don't even have

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

Can they maybe not

you’re prejudiced against new ideas.

Can we maybe add giant identical Towers raising out of the ground all over the World to this?

well i don’t see Why Not.

saw a post so bad i whispered “i don’t like you” and set my phone down

if I was a trump staffer I'd be showing him realistic AI generated videos of Frankenstein beating people up

Mister President it happened again. You have to help them. Please you have to help america.

penis isn't real. pussy isn't even real. the only thing that is real, is the pleasure of combat

No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog

This was now a decade ago but I got news about this kitty from someone who works at the clinic he lived in: he lived up to 20 years old 💙

And you may tell yourself "this is not my tomodachi life"

leaving a bad review of The Art of War on Amazon so my enemies don't buy it

Not to sound mushy, but stories about two lonely characters from vastly different worlds finding solace with each other always appeal to me

You know what makes it even better? If one of them is sort of evil.

or hear me out… both…

Man no one even remembers laptop in bed. It was laptop in bed for years. Now it's just phone in bed. Maybe tablet. But usually phone. So much has changed