Chubby Little Birdy

IMPORTANT COMMENTARY. They know people are going to fake this survey. They want you to. Don’t.

One of the most thrilling, adorable, and terrifying things you could ever see in your back yard.

let me guess, mama is chillen in the pool while her kids wildin about

Me when i ask for real spicy and not white people spicy

Me when I step in a puddle and I feel the water penetrate my socks

Me when my friend’s 90 pound dog stomps on my nuts

Me when h– wait, what?

Oh! I’m sorry! I misheard. I thought you said “Me when my friend’s dog stomps on my 90 pound nuts.”

If i had 90 pound nuts do you think i’d be here? Clowning in this shit hole? I’d have a house of gold. A car of jewels. Lingerie forged with meteorite and silver coins. Dont be so naieve

@shitty-car-mods-daily STAY THE FUCK BACK

h o w d i d t h e y f i n d t h i s o u t

a couple people have asked how i figured out she wants the spoon & to that i say this: i dont actually know if she wants the spoon but it fits nicely on her little baby cat head & she stops meowing when i do it, probably out of confusion

The punchline of this comic is the truest thing to ever exist.

some of you don’t understand that top/bottom are words to describe gay sex and it shows

top/bottom ≠ dom/sub

top/bottom =/= masc/femme

Well. Thanks for bringing up gay sex at this time in the morning. I REALLY wanted to think about that. Guess I’m gonna have to have some craazy sex with my wife so I can get these images out of my  head!

well you’re gonna have to wait because i’m fucking your wife right now

small brain “hotel california is about drugs” normal brain “hotel california is about the music industry” giant brain “hotel california is meant to be taken completely literally and The Eagles are still trapped there”

galaxy brain “hotel california is a negative yelp review with a 2 minute guitar solo”